Dads ~

I am way behind on blogging. There is so much to blog about, but little time to sit and focus on writing. Fortunately I have been up since 3:30am because Hannah came in wanting to sleep with me and now my mind is spinning and I can't get back to sleep. So I will start posting again. Please forgive me if it is a little lame to go back to what I was going to post on Father's Day. That is how behind I am lol.

It is such a blessing to have an amazing dad in my life. It would take forever to explain how amazing my dad is. He has been my councelor ever since I could remember. I would go to him with almost everything. He would let me come into his office home or work and talk to him for an hour about life and he would sit and listen. Then he would offer his wisdom and another perspective which would be so helpful in formulating a solution to whatever we were discussing. He was very diplomatic about things and always allowed me to have my own opinion. (that is why I am so opinionated and strong-willed lol) I felt respected and equal in my abilities to men. He is also a very tender man. He would sit with me in the evenings after dinner and tickle my back as he watched the news or hockey on tv. He could do that for an hour or more to show me how much he loved me. I also have a wonderful memory of him taking care of his mom in the hospital as she suffered through Dementia before she died. He would clip her nails, wash and brush her hair, paint her toenails, massage her back, sing and pray with her, take her for walks and out to eat. He was and is a great example of loving others at all times. He could put himself in their shoes and walk with them through what they were going through.

He also taught me so much about fishing and loving the outdoors. I absolutely LOVE flyfishing. It is one of the best hobbies to have. I have so many great memories of fishing out in our floatubes til the moon was out, not wanting to come in because of how serene and beautiful it was and how great the fishing was. = ) He was my mentor and teacher in music. I watched him and learned so much about being a musician. He gave me lots of opportunities to pursue my passions in singing and acting. He wanted me to thrive in what God had given me.

He also was a great example of what a pastor looked like and was suppose to be. I grew up as a pastor's kid and saw and experienced a lot of things, but my dad always kept his integrity and honor through it all. His relationship with God is real and evident in everything he says, does and feels. He is a true follower of Christ. So now as I am a pastor's wife I am able to glean from all of what I've learned from him and my mom and strive to live as they do, showing Christ's love through my life in all things as much as I can.

He loves our kids and adores them. They are now blessed to have such a great Opa to look up to and learn from.




Now my husband, Brian, is another dad who deserves to be honored. When we got married I wasn't sure how Brian would be as a dad. He had a difficult experience with his own father and he wasn't so sure he wanted to be a dad anytime soon so I was left wondering how our lives would play out. So we waited for four years until Hannah was born. Brian was hoping for a boy to rough house with, but when little baby Hannah came out, he was the first one to hold her and see her and he absolutely fell in love with her. They bonded instantly and still she can almost do no wrong in his eyes. He cherishes every moment he spends with his kids. I watch him when he plays and interacts with Hannah and Josh and he shows them equal love and attention. He respects them and shows interest in everything they do. They are definitely a huge part of his life.

I've been the bad cop and he's been the good cop for so long, but recently he had to discipline Hannah for going out into a busy street. After, I looked at him and said how are you doing? and he replied, "I think that hurt me more than it hurt her." He is a real softy when it comes to those two. He loves to be rough with Josh and for the most part Josh is all over that, but sometimes Brian is a little too rough and Josh will start to cry. Brian's eyes soften and he picks Josh up and holds him saying, "I'm sorry bud, I didn't mean to be so rough." He would do anything for them and it is obvious.

He is a great day and will continue to be as they get older. I know they will learn a lot of wisdom from their dad. He also is starting to teach Hannah how to play the violin. She got a little real one and they have a lesson during his days off. I never realized what a great teacher he was. He is so patient with her and encouraging. She always learns something new each time she plays. I will be very surprised if our kids are not musical in some way.

What a great dad his has become. I am very proud of him and look up to him so much.


So thank you dad and Brian for being wonderful examples and blessings in my life. When I stop to thank God for what he has given, I am overwhelmed with thanks for two great men in my life I adore.

Pictures ~

I finally got enough courage to post some pictures with some encouragement from a friend. So here are some that were taken recently I'd like to share.

My Cousin ~

Cassie is still in the children's hospital being monitored. They are going to have a meeting with the doctors and counselors to decide if she needs to be transferred to another facility. As of now she is not allowed to see anyone other than her immediate family. I really wanted to be up there with her, but looks like that won't be good for her right now. Thank you for all of your prayers. There is definitely a battle that she is going through.

Pray ~

I have so many thoughts running through my head. Where do I begin? I find myself to be a pretty godly person. I love the Lord with all my heart and I am totally devoted to Him.

But I get glimpses of how inferior I actually am to Him and His glory through the way I think and the things I do that I am speechless. I think about myself way too much. Who cares anyway. I think about making the yard look nice, what should the kids and I do to pass the time, oh, I know we'll go to the grocery store and then we can go for a walk with a friend. After that hopefully they will have their naps and then we can do something as a family. During nap time I read, maybe say a quick prayer, breathe in deeply, take a shower. My prayers are more, "God get me through this day. I am tired. What will the day look like? I am bored. May You be glorified in it whatever it turns out to be." But is He?

Why am I writing all of this? Because, As I am thinking these things my cousin is in emergency at the hospital trying to regain conciousness due to an overdose of pills. Last night Hannah woke me up at 1:30, 2:00am, and I didn't get back to sleep til 3:30am. What was a praying about? Myself. God please help me get back to sleep. God please protect us. God why am I still awake. I missed a very important opportunity to ask God what and who I should be praying for. If He woke me up for another reason and start praying for others, my family, my friends, the GP's of this country, for our church. I missed the boat. Thankfully my eyes have been opened a bit to see that...

Life is truly about being God-focused, serving and praying for others, and less of myself. I am too quick to talk about what I think about this or that. Or about what is affecting me. My cousin is trying to commit suicide and I am concerned about me.

I am so thankful that God has reveiled himself, through humility and perspective. It's not about me at all, in any way. God's will, will indeed be done. I need to change my focus to be centered on Him, to be quiet and quick to listen, and to be disciplined to pray without ceasing for everyone I can think of.

Cassie needs all the intercession she can get. There is a battle for her life between God and Satan. We need to pray that she will open her heart to the Lord and return to Him. He is the true conqueror. Satan's battle has already been lost. There is still a chance for her. Pray.

Time For a New One ~

I don't know how some of you do it. Putting your photo albums and music on your blogs. I am stumped. I went to blogger help and the steps to post a picture of myself is so time consuming. I have been thinking of posting more pictures and also music. I love those options on some of yours. = ) How many hours do you spend updating your blogs. Could any of you help me with these upgrades? I was also thinking of posting songs that I've been writing. Would that be totally wierd or what? I thought it would be a great place to have them and maybe they could be received well by others. I don't know. As you can tell I am a bit insecure about the whole thing.

Anyways, today was very interesting. My lovely Hannah didn't want to take her nap and her mother flipped out. It is such a long story that frankly I am too tired to tell, but all I can say is I am going to bed in 10 mins because I am emotionally, and mentally fried. Brian saved me by coming home early so I could go lay down and have some space. He is back at work, hopefully will be home soon. He had his mustang looked at in the shop. The owner was a big guy and a bit intimidating. We went there to drop off Brian and the guy looked at me and said "HE"S THE MAN!! WHAT HE SAYS GOES!" I was dumpfounded. I guess he was mad at me because Brian asked if he could come and get the car a little later because the kids were still sleeping and he had to wait for me to drop him off. I asked him out the window what about the kids sleeping? And he said, "IT DOESN'T MATTER! HE"S THE MAN, HE"S THE MAN!" Circling his chest with his finger. Okay that was just weird. Thankfully, Brian came home and put me at ease about the whole thing. I was thinking in the back of my head that Brian would come home and rule the house. You know how your mind wanders sometimes. At least mine does. But no, he said he had an opportunity to get to know the guy and that he was Johovah's Witness. Brian got a chance to tell him he was a pastor at a Chrisian church. It sounds like they are going to get together and talk about religion Monday. So let's pray for Brian and I'll post what happens. = )

My friend Molly, was honored at a party last night. It was so much fun. Angie did a great job. She is so thoughtful. Nothing was left out. I have to say it is starting to hit me that she and her family are leaving really soon. What am I going to do without my dear friend Molly? Her little girl, Sarah is Hannah's best friend. They are the same age. Thankfully she won't be moving too far away, but still she is one of those friends that will always have a special place in my heart. I know many of you can agree about her. She is so special. I am truly so thankful for her friendship. Hannah loves Sarah too so much. I finally told her about their move. It hasn't hit her yet. Boy life can be hard sometimes. What IS the meaning of life? That IS the question.