Memorial Day Weekend ~

So you heard about my mini vacation, what was yours? Did you get a chance to get out and do something fun this weekend?

Mini Vacation ~

We are having a little vacation with my parents, the kids and I. Brian is doing some much needed home improvements and getting a lot done. It has been so nice to watch the kids with their grandparents. The bonds with family are so important. Josh adores my dad. He hugged him and when my dad picked him up, Josh laid his head down on his shoulder for 10 mins just giving his Opa loves.

The kids have been saying some great things lately. Josh's new words are, "outside", "home", "why?", "mommy", "watch (as in watch this guys), "umm", "ruff", "meow", "all done", "no", "I want this" and the coolest thing was today he sang on pitch the beginning of Barney's "I love you" song. "I love you, I love me, menemeneamily" It was incredible. Poor Brian this always happens to him. The kids do something amazing and he is away.

Hannah is just cute. What else can i say. She wanted to walk with the umbrella all by herself. All you could see was this umbrella walking beside me very slowly I might ad, trying to find its way up the side walk. I enjoy life through her eyes. We're in my parents guest bathroom and she says, "there are TWO sinks mom!! I can't BELIEVE IT!" We don't have that luxury at our house. = ) We went garage saling yesterday and everytime we would find one she'd say "ANOTHER ONE!!" "YEA!!!!!" She was so focused on finding a ring, we got her a bike, a watch, but that wasn't good enough, finally we found a ring. She is a grown up now.

All in all these two kids of mine just make me laugh. They are a joy and a challenge, but mostly a joy.

Parents House ~

Kid Moments ~

Hannah: "Can I talk to you?"

Daddy: "Hannah, can you go sit on the couch and wait until your mommy and I are done talking?"

Hannah: Quiet

Hannah:"Daddy, can I tell you something?"

Daddy: "Just a minute Hannah."

Hannah: "But I've been waiting such a long time."

Priceless.

We were very busy today, leading worship with the kids in childcare all morning, little break, come back for Team Meeting, lead it, and then bible study. So after church around lunchtime Hannah wanted me to tell the Rodolf the Red Nose Raindeer story in the car. (I have my own version) So it was pretty long, but good. lol. Anyway, at 9:00pm on the way home she wanted me to tell it to her again. I said no, but she insisted, so I said I would tell her the short version. Well, I tried to shorten it a bit, but after it was done she laughed and said, "Wow mom that was long!"


Josh and I are totally bonding with our own lovey codes. Josh started to say "ummmm" (wonder where he got that from), so now we look into each others eyes and say ummmm then nock our heads together, still starring into our eyes, with big smiles on our faces. Ah, he just melts me. I can't help it. It's our little code and I love it.

Be Quiet Austin I Am Trying To Think ~

It is too funny. Austin is an over 100 lbs. Golden Retriever and he is breathing really, really heaving right now. HAAAHHHH, HAAHHHHHH, HAAAHHHHHH, HAHHHAHHH. If a little dog did this it would be cute, but since he is sooo big it is almost shaking the house. Not quite, but still it is hard to think. = ) I love him though. He has been a great dog. We got him when he was a month old. Brian and I spontaneously drove from Palm Desert California 7-8 hours up to Bakersfield just to get this dog. He was the runt of the litter, the last available purebred and when we got there a little pug dog peed on his little puppy face. It was soo funny. He was our baby. Not a baby anymore, no way.

Today was a good day. Weird a bit in the morning. I had probably the worst dream in my life. Why does that happen? Brian and I watched the Twin Towers movie, which was good, but disturbing. I am the type of person who places myself in that situation and almost lives it out like it was reality. So those two things made my heart feel very anxious and unsettled.

I read two things in the bible that spoke to me and helped calm my spirit. The first one was Psalm 55:2 "Attend to me and answer me, I am restless and distraught in my complaint and must moan." v.22 "Cast you burden on the Lord (releasing the weight of it) and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to fail." This was awesome to be reminded of because sometimes I get into this frame of mind where I think I have to have to fight a negative spirit with positive thoughts. And I do believe that we should, but there are times I don't have the strength to be positive and I need a place to vent. It was so refreshing to hear that "the man after God's own heart" David, was able to moan and complain to God. I find that when I do this the Holy Spirit corrects my thinking for me and calms me down with peace and perspective.

The second verse was I Corinthians 10:13 "...God is faithful(to His word and to His compassionate nature), and He can be trusted not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will always also provide the way out, that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently." Thanks God. I am so glad I can come it him for help and that He will never put be through anything I cannot handle. After I read those I felt so much better.

The rest of the day I met with my neighbor friend for awhile and then had a play day with some of Josh's little girl-friends. = ) They are soo cute together, all about the same height and even hair color, born within a month from each other. I hope we get to do that more often. It's fun to watch our kids grow up, ya know. And they are so dag gon CUTE!!

Happy Mother's Day ~

What a nice day to celebrate Mother's Day. It was breezy, but the sun was shining. We went to Red Robin for dinner and then took the kids to the park. I had a much needed nap and didn't do any cleaning. Hey it's Mother's Day. Brian gave me a very kind card with lots of writing in it. (he can be a man of few words) and the movie "Music and Lyrics." If you haven't seen it you should rent it. It was a cute romantic movie and since we like music we could relate to it on another level as well. = )

Well, I just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day. Have a wonderful week. I think it is suppose to be beautiful weather the next couple of days. Is it time to wear flip/flops? Hannah is dying to get a pair. She asks every boy or girl who is wearing them if she could try them on, stranger or not. Too funny.

A Jumble in My Nogin ~

What a title eh?

Finally, peace and time. The best combo for sitting down and writing a post on my blog. Ya know what happens? I start reading everyone else's blog and by the time I want to post anything I am worn out and can't think of anything to say.

So I've waited quite a bit and now I have so much in my brain I can't think of where to start.



Hannah and I painted our nails this afternoon when Josh was sleeping. She asked again and finally I couldn't say no. I painted her toes and fingers a light purple with glitter and she painted my toes (my nails were painted by moi). = ) I was going to post a picture of my glamorous toes, but I don't have the camera cord to inport pictures. Such is life. Hannah did a great job she was very careful and serious about it. She is such a girl.

That was probably my favorite moment of the day. Today was mostly exhausting. She got disciplined twice and was very testy and angry about stuff today. Where did that attitude come from. My nerves were on the edge with her. And I hate disciplining her. It is the worst feeling in the world (almost), but what can a parent do when there is attitude behind being disobedient? Josh also had a time out in his crib for disobeying and standing on the chair when I looked him in the eye and told him to sit down. He is smart. He looked at me like, what are you going to do about it? So after his episode he was much better and the next time he stood up all I had to do was look at him and he sat right down. They start testing soooo early, he's 18 months now.

Thankfully Brian came home for a quick dinner before heading back out for rehearsal. I hugged him longer than normal just be close to another adult, a friend, my love. It made me get through the rest of the evening. Isn't that funny, he was only home for less than an hour. I think the kids needed him too. Why would they want to be around a mom who was correcting them all day. I know I wouldn't.

So that was our day. I am now sitting on the back deck under our umbrella table, drinking in the rest of the sun and the rustling leaves on the trees. Thank you God for peace.

I've been writing a lot still. It's been a great outlet for me. In my Beth Moore study, "Breaking Free," I just learned that God wants to reveal his glory through us. That is how I see these songs as being a way for Him to show himself to me and hopefully to others who hear them. What an awesome feeling. The one that I finished for the Mother's Day tea is called, "I Celebrate the Seasons of Life" It's neat how it came together. Ya know how blogging is such a great way to pour what going on in your life out and share a part of you with others. Well so is songwriting. And the funny thing about all of this is that I never, ever saw myself as a writer. Because I never wrote anything. Especially anything good! So I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is speaking through me. It has to be Him.

The "Breaking Free" study has been really good. I am not an indepth bible study kinda gal. I am more of a free spirit who likes to do my own thing, but Beth Moore is really bringing the Whole bible to life. She makes you think. What exactly is going on in my heart? Who exactly is God in my life? And yes, there are things I need to break free from. There are sides to me that are ugly. I don't like how I can get angry and be mean with my words. Yuk! I don't like how insecure I can be about myself and accomplishments. Did you know that insecurity can make you proud? I didn't until now. How I worry about almost everything, and how I have to give so much of it to God everyday. Aren't we suppose to be over these things by now. I have been a christian since the age of 6 and fully devoted to Christ since 17 years old. What is my problem?

Well, what I've concluded is that I will always fall short of the glory of God. That he is loving me through what I deal with. I have spent more time reading the Bible by reading a chapter in Psalms, Isaiah, and now in 1st Corinthians everyday, watching CBN, Joyce Meyer, this study, and crying out to God about everything going on in my head without holding back. I am convinced that since I am having time with Him daily I am drawing closer to Him. I am reflecting more of His glory by doing these things. It is breaking me free from the garbage that holds me back from fufilling His purposes for my life. I have to say I love having my relationship with God. More than I ever have. I cling to him.

So those are the deeper things I'm doing, now back to earth, there is a huge pile of laundry on the guest bed staring me in the face right now and do I want to do anything about it? NO WAY!!! I'm done for today. = )

Hannah's On A Roll ~

Hannah: "Can I have more beans please?" (third helping at dinner)

Brian: "Beans will give you stinkers."

Hannah: "Beans will make me stink?!?"

Brian: "Yep."

Hannah: "Can I have some more please!!" (with a big smile on her face)

Later on that evening...

Hannah: (loud tooting noises with a look of concentration) Then with a big smile of relief and acomplishment she turns to her dad and says: "Stinkers, they make me stink."


The End ~

Funny ~

Okay I am online right now reading blogs and such. Brian just came upstairs to make coffee and Hannah is sitting beside me eating some breakfast. She just finished asking Brian, "Dad? Why don't you have panties on?" LOL!!! Brian: Uh, well boys don't wear panties, they wear boxers, underwear. "So boys don't wear panties on girls do?" Brian: Yep. And I got to wittness the whole thing.

I am planning to write something more substantial soon. = )

Hello All ~

It's been awhile, I know. Sorry about that. I just have to say that I have spent the last hour figuring out how to post all of my "bloggerbuds" as links. What a job! I was going to update everyone on things, but now I am thinking I need to go to bed. I leave you with some highlights of the kids.

Hannah:

"Mommy, is Daddy taking his Mustache home?" (meaning Mustang)
"Wow, there is all about hockey!" (we were watching a bit of a hockey game)
"I finished my food all"
"Mommy, Why do bats hang upside down when they sleep?"
"Joshy, come here, Joshy!!"
"Mom can the big blobby come to our house?" (the bacteria monster at the AGFest last weekend) "How would he get in our house? He is too big." "Well, we can just get a big door for him." lol
"Mommy, I want to watch Happy Toes. Can we watch Happy Toes now?" (Happy Feet)

Joshua:

"I want this!!"
"Rice"
"I want some more!!"
"Mine!!"
"Byeeee" (with some blown kisses)
"Mom!! MAHM!!"
"Up"
"lskadjfoinafoeijaoe lasjdofijaeofn pkdafoeijangoriag aslfjeoijfe oafneonfaeo aojdfaoiejfoane dnoajfoajefan " (no translation)

(Notice how everything is loud)

Good night all!

Hannah's Night Night ~

"Okay Hannah time to go to bed."

"But I don't want to go to bed"

"I know, close your eyes and think of good things"

"hmmm....like....rainbows, and...ponytails, and....jewels,....and Sarah?"

"Yeah, sounds good. Good night. Love you."


Priceless....

Date Night ~

Ya know, the sun did decide to show up this afternoon. Were you there to see it? = ) I made myself sit outside during nap time and soak up the sun's warmth for awhile. That seemed to cheer me up.

Brian and I went to see Music and Lyrics with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymoore. It was such a cute movie. Great one for us musicians to watch. I found us looking at each other a lot and smiling or laughing at what was said or done. More than usual. It was so nice to be reminded that we share a great passion for music and more specifically worship music. We are starting to write some worship songs together. It has been great. We make a great team. I provide lyrics and ideas and he provides structure and groove. It's great! That is something to be excited about. We have been working on a song right now that has gotten us excited. We'll see how it is received. This is kind of a little secret passed time of ours. It has definitely been a gift from God. We can't take any credit for sure. But it shows me how awesome God really is. And how he cares about all of our passions and desires.

I am so glad the dulldrums faded away. They aren't fun to be in and they're hard to get out of sometimes. The sun does help and prayer. Maybe we should write a song called, "The sun and prayer" LOL. Just kidding. I better go to bed before I get too silly.

Have You Ever ~

Have you ever had a day when you wake up, had a good sleep, you should be rejoicing and excited about all the wonderful things that will happen, but instead you feel numb inside? That is what I feel like today. It's a really wierd feeling. I'm coasting through.

What makes us feel this way sometimes? Is it our cycle? (Ya know what I mean). Or are we mulling over deep issues. Is it the mundane of day to day life? Or is it the weather? What is it?

Pastor is doing a great series on how we are spending our time. I really liked his message today about keeping on, keeping on when the going gets tough because there is a great reward heading our way. He said that living the christian life is like runnning a marathon. I thought about that for a second and yes it does seem that way. What a journey we are on.

Brian and I are having a date night tonight. I'm looking forward to it. I wish I could feel more emotion than this ho hum feeling.

I know, I'm making a choice right now to enjoy the rest of the day. To be thankful for whatever comes next and have a smile on my face. I don't want to be run by my emotions anymore. They are so unpredicable. And sun I am ready for you to show you face anytime, okay! lol.

"I'm eating my food all!" Hannah said.

Good Morning Day~

I'm up with Hannah in the kitchen eating bread with butter. She is sharing. = ) Everyone else, except Austin and his panting, is sleeping. I'm not that awake yet, but at least I'm not grumpy. Hannah and I were watching Arthur this morning in our bed and she was using my knees under the covers as a slide. It was cute. Unfortunately, that didn't last long so we had to get out of bed. Bummer it was really nice and warm in there. lol.

Recently Josh started doing some really cute things. At the dinner table we all fold our hands and pray for the food. After Hannah prays, Josh folds his hands and thanks God for the food and says amen. It is adorable. He also has learned to say thank you in sign language. He now says I'm hungry, more, all done and thank you in sign language. It sure is helpful.

Hannah just said, "Oh! Josh is awake!" Good Morning Day now you are starting.

Is This For Real? ~

I had a friend open my eyes the other day on how some of my posts can be unrelatable. Lately I've been posting uplifting words of encouragement, revelation about God, blessings and thanks towards my kids, etc... This might be perceived as I've got an awesome life no worries, no problems. I am so thankful for this friend bringing this to my attention. It made a lot of sense to me. I write when I'm inspired, usually. But most of my days, especially lately have made me weary, stressed and ready to throw in the towel. My kids are wonderful and gifts from God, but oh my goodness they wear me out!!! I am being pulled by a three year old and 1 year old with very little break throughout the day that when they finally go to bed I am mush and have nothing more to give anything.

I finally had enough and started to schedule date nights, childcare at the gym, and other things that will (hopefully) bring some structure and fun back into my life. I was enjoying life a few blogs ago, but now I am finding myself reacting to it again. This has got to stop. I am running on empty.

It is at these times in my life I look at my and other blogs and want to right, but am not inspired to. God is so gracious and loving. And friends are so understanding and encouraging. It is in these times I find strength to get through at least one more day through God and my friends. = ) I think I have a date night scheduled next week!!! YEA!!!

Documenting ~

Well, we're going on a bear hunt, a bear hunt, a bear hunt, and what are we going to see? Boise ID!!!!! Yes, a big adventure begins today. It's exciting. I had a little moment this morning to try and document some things that my kids were doing lately.

Josh said "moo" yesterday when I was reading a story about a farm. He says, "owie, owie" for his teeth, "McDonahl" for you know where. "Mahmee" for me, "numnumnumnumnum!!!!!" when he is REALLY hungry lol, he just started to sign "thank you" yesterday. I was so proud of him (been working on him for months now). Yesterday he learned how to climb up every chair, bench or sofa in the house. Oh it's beginning. He loves to climb. He also has a bit of a temper. When he doesn't get his way he yells and stomps off into the other room to cool off. I never follow him oh no. That would mean war. But on the flip side, he is such a love bug. He'll give me hugs and kisses. He is very playful and is always up to play and joke around. He also has his alone time. He can be very content playing on his own. Not really needy in that way.

Hannah is making up her own songs now. Some of them are soo cute I try to remember to write them down. They are scattered around the house so unfortunately I can't document them here. She loves to draw and yesterday she traced her hands all by herself and made a person in the middle with curly hair, smilie face, body, feet and hands. She really is developing in this way. When Brian comes home from work and we are sitting down for dinner she'll ask him, "So how was your day daddy?" So cute. And when she really likes dinner or whatever was made for her she'll say "This is really good. Did you make this mommy? This is really, really good." lol. I was going to take her blanket to wash and did, but she had a meltdown so I decided after 5 mins to give it back to her. She was watching a movie on the couch, stopped crying and then I gave it to her. When I came back into the room after 3 mins, she looked up at me and said in a very grown up way, "Mom, thank you for giving my nappy back" It was so sweet. You have to hear it in her voice. Priceless.

Those two kids are just such a wonderful blessing. I told God what my three ultimate desires were when I was young, 1) to marry a wonderful, Godly man, 2) to have children, 3) to sing for Him and help bring revival back into the church.

God is truly amazing and definitely my Father who loves me and blesses me above and beyond what I could ever imagine or hope for.

Thoughts ~

Jesus came to bring life, and life to the FULLEST!!....Do you believe it? I thought I did, being a believer in Him since I was a little girl, trying to serve Him and do all of the right things He had asked me to do. But just recently I realized I wasn't experiencing Jesus' promise. I was too worried about doing the right thing and making God happy that I wasn't allowing Him to bless me with His joy and contentment that comes when we live LIFE. Jesus said "I am the way, the truth, and the LIFE"

My life has had an underlying current of worry, fear, and frustration. As a christian I wasn't suppose to feel this way, was I? Do to certain situations God finally got through to me that

1) I needed to find the things that filled me up and make a way to do those things.
2) I needed to make Jesus my "best-friend" and go to Him with everything that was on my heart. He knows it all anyway.
3) I needed to read His word that He gave to me and to all of us as a precious gift full of insight and wisdom and power, everyday.
4) In order for me to truly and fully live life I finally needed to give my life completely to Him.

So today I am so thankful that God has revealed to me what living to the FULLEST really means and what it really feels like. I go to the gym, read great books, work in the yard, spend time with friends, read the Bible often, and pour my heart out to Him as much as I would a close friend, honoring Him with a close relationship, love and adore my husband and kids, and write heart songs as worship to God. Is my life FULL? YES!!!!!! It is the best feeling in the world. Thank you God for revealing this secret to me. It was hard to learn, but soooo worth it. Your grace is sufficient for me. Thank you. I love you.

My Friend ~

I had an idea of how my childhood friend and I should be now that we were adults. But I finally realized through her help that we have grown up, moved on and don't relate like we once did. We will always catch up and stay friends, but being "best-friends" will have to be a distant memory. I am really sad about this. Why do we have to grow up? Why do we have to move on? I know it's for the best and that God reveals other wonderful people and experiences to us as we journey through this life, but why can't we relive our memories from the past.

Life definitely is funny and I will have so many questions to ask God or have Him reveal to me when I get to heaven.

Just this past week I realized that I needed to fill my life with things that refuel my jets, refill my tank. I am, I guess and "Otter" type. Up, sanguine, fun-loving. But being a stay at home mom as brought a lot of Meloncoly and interverted tendencies that don't come naturally and rejuvenate me. So I am starting to go to a gym. I went last night for two hours and loved it. I was able to be around people and socialize. Sat in on a "groove" workout class, read my Joyce Meyer magazine I just received in the mail from an awesome friend of mine. Thank you friend. Hopefully I'll connect with you soon! And then treat myself to a Starbucks chai tea. I felt very rejuvenated when I came home. I talked Brian's ear off about all the fun things I just did and all the thoughts I was thinking about on the treadmill. I had a glimpse of the "real" me again. I am hoping this will really help. There are other things I am working on.

Anyway, I am glad I got to write about these things a bit. The kids are in their beds, but Hannah is refusing to sleep. Ug. At least I am able to be alone for a few minutes anyway.

I Have A Question ~

For the past few days I've been stumped as to what to do with my almost 3 year old and 1 year old to keep them entertained other than movies. We don't have a yard so I can't let them run around outside. Does anyone have some creative ideas they would like to share? Thanks. = )