Pray ~

I have so many thoughts running through my head. Where do I begin? I find myself to be a pretty godly person. I love the Lord with all my heart and I am totally devoted to Him.

But I get glimpses of how inferior I actually am to Him and His glory through the way I think and the things I do that I am speechless. I think about myself way too much. Who cares anyway. I think about making the yard look nice, what should the kids and I do to pass the time, oh, I know we'll go to the grocery store and then we can go for a walk with a friend. After that hopefully they will have their naps and then we can do something as a family. During nap time I read, maybe say a quick prayer, breathe in deeply, take a shower. My prayers are more, "God get me through this day. I am tired. What will the day look like? I am bored. May You be glorified in it whatever it turns out to be." But is He?

Why am I writing all of this? Because, As I am thinking these things my cousin is in emergency at the hospital trying to regain conciousness due to an overdose of pills. Last night Hannah woke me up at 1:30, 2:00am, and I didn't get back to sleep til 3:30am. What was a praying about? Myself. God please help me get back to sleep. God please protect us. God why am I still awake. I missed a very important opportunity to ask God what and who I should be praying for. If He woke me up for another reason and start praying for others, my family, my friends, the GP's of this country, for our church. I missed the boat. Thankfully my eyes have been opened a bit to see that...

Life is truly about being God-focused, serving and praying for others, and less of myself. I am too quick to talk about what I think about this or that. Or about what is affecting me. My cousin is trying to commit suicide and I am concerned about me.

I am so thankful that God has reveiled himself, through humility and perspective. It's not about me at all, in any way. God's will, will indeed be done. I need to change my focus to be centered on Him, to be quiet and quick to listen, and to be disciplined to pray without ceasing for everyone I can think of.

Cassie needs all the intercession she can get. There is a battle for her life between God and Satan. We need to pray that she will open her heart to the Lord and return to Him. He is the true conqueror. Satan's battle has already been lost. There is still a chance for her. Pray.