Thursday, November 24, 2005

Just the Three of Us ~

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. What a day this will be. For most of us it will be filled with family, friends, comotion, food, food, food, games, (are there football games on?), and a time around the table to give thanks. For others it might be just a time of reflection, of peace from the normal everyday grind. Whatever it will turn out to be, it will be wonderful. There is so much to be thankful for. God is extremely faithful. I want to make sure that I remember Him today.

No baby yet. = ) I had false labor Monday and Tuesday, but by Weds. it all stopped. I have been feeling like I am only 6 months along again. I went to my doctor's appt. and found out that none of that work did anything to change my progress. I prayed 'please Lord let me have this baby before my parents get here so that they could be a part of this special time.' So I have to be honest it has been difficult not getting discouraged about it. I've tried walking up and down Cosco and my neighborhood, bouncing on my exercise ball, doing chores around the house, cooking a roast, playing with Hannah, eating spicy food. I don't think there is much more I can do at this point. lol. It's so silly how the last days are just up and down with emotions and anxiety and signs of possible labor.

I have a friend who has helped me focus on the positives of this Thanksgiving holiday that has been such a blessing for me because it is easy to slip into an oh poor me attitude right now. She said this might be a good time for us as a threesome to enjoy eachother for the last time before we become four. It's true. Hannah will get lots of attention from her grandparents, Brian and I might catch a movie for a last date night lol, I might be able to go out shopping with my mom and have hang time. Just have time to appreciate the little things and hide them in my heart when I will be up with Mr. boy in the middle of the night for the next six months or so. (See if I put it that way it doesn't seem like such a bad deal does it?) Plus, my mom is going to be making her turkey dinner for us. It will be heavenly.

Well, I hope that you have a wonderful long weekend with the ones you love and if you are feeling alone this Thanksgiving remember this could be a great time to spend with God and dwell on His love and comfort. There will always be seasons in our lives, but God is always in them all. We are never alone.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I'm Up, I'm Up, I'm Up!! ~

Okay it is 2:45am in the morning and I can't get to sleep. I went to bed at 9:00pm and now I'm up. Yesterday, I had another downer day. Talked to my dad about it and he suggested I read Phil chapter 4 and dwell on it this week. So here is what I am dwelling on thus far: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything present your requests to God and you will find peace through Christ Jesus."

This is a tough thing to do. I have been anxious about EVERYTHING lately. It's been about me quite a bit this week. So this verse is good for me right now. I have to remember that I can find peace and pure joy in Christ Jesus if I look for it in his word and in spending time with him. I love knowing we are not alone. That the God of the universe cares about every little detail of our lives and comforts us through his presence and promises.

I have my doctor's appt. today in the morning. I hope I've progressed more. I am wanting to stay home more. My stomach is so heavy and sore. Whenever I walk I ache alot. I've had a hard time not being able to pick up Hannah. She is my baby. However, I do find that when I do I pay for it with pain in my back. Oh well, like I said she is my baby. I can't help it.

I found a journal insert from April 2nd, 04' the night I started going into labor with Hannah. It was very insightful and encouraged me that I was at the end now. I was very exhausted and extremely hungry. lol. My contractions were getting very uncomfortable. I really, really hope he comes in a couple of days. I don't know how much longer I can carry him around and still be productive. He is a heavier baby than Hannah I am pretty sure about that.

Anyway, I think that is all for now. I might surf the web for a bit more and hopefully go back to sleep for pete sake.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I Am So Tired ~

Was it just me or were there others who had the case of the moodies? I knew today would be a long day because Brian works til 9:00p at night, but I was tired, bored, couldn't think straight. There were so many things I could have found myself doing, but didn't want to do any of them. My poor daughter must have been extremely bored. We do a lot of lounging and cuddling these days. = )

I had Brian come home for a couple of hours so I could take a nap. Hannah had a good one, but I couldn't go to sleep because of the acid reflux that was disturbing things. I feel like I am such a downer today.

Thankfully, I put Hannah down for bed (she is still awake talking to herself!?!) and now I think I will have that wonderful shower I have been hoping for all day. lol. I hate taking showers, but it's amazing how much better you feel afterwards. It's always a mind over matter thing for me. lol.

Okay, I've vented a bit, feel a little better. Thanks for listening. = )

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Not as Big as I Thought ~

I had my doctor's check up and I was almost positive that I had gained 8 pounds since the last visit. Last night I felt like I was carrying a ball n' chain in my tummy! For sure, I MUST be 160 lbs. I stepped on the scale and I LOST a pound. OH BROTHER. I was 150 lbs. So I guess I have an "over-exaggerating" problem. lol.

Anyway, baby and mommy are healthy and still waiting for the big day. It is getting closer and closer. The evenings are the toughest for me. I am tired and achy. My lower back hurts most of the time, especially when I walk. I think to myself, 'how long will I be able to carry all of this weight before I go insane?' I know, when he comes I will be carrying the weight still, but my arms have been getting a great toning work-out with Hannah, however my stomach, well it was just getting over the last baby.

I had a "nesting" episode yesterday with Brian. I told him we had to rearrange the living room furniture, get the baby's room ready with the bassenet up, fold laundry, prepare the guest bed just in case, pack the suitcase, and make sure the kitchen is clean. We did it and now I feel good about things. The last thing on the list is put the carseat in the car. I know Brian will get this done soon or else he'll have to come back home and do it when I am in the hospital. He is really putting up with a lot. A lot of emotions and fatigue. Must be difficult for him. Thankfully it will almost be over and then on to the next faze of sleepless nights and ongoing crying. lol.

There really are joys that go a long with parenting. We took Hannah to ride the carasel at the park and then played in the playground together as a family. Brian brought the camera. It was cold in the 40's, but the sun was shining and we were all together. I loved it!

Well, time to go chill in bed, watch tv, read, go to sleep. = )