We had a Worship Team Karaoke Night at the church last night which was a blast. Thank you Sharon and Julie!!! The kids were being babysat and during our wonderful concert they snuck up to the balcony to watch. Afterward when I was walking Hannah and Josh to the car I asked Hannah what she thought of the singing. She said, "It was bad." LOL. Honesty gotta love it! (it was pretty bad = ) But so much fun.
Last night Hannah freaked out cuz' she couldn't get to sleep and got scared so I went in to calm her down. She asked me to tell her a story (she likes it when I tell her a story rather than read her one, funny) so I told her about Jesus in the temple teaching while his parents were looking for him. After the story she asked if I could sleep with her. Nope I said. I told her I needed to settle down and get ready for bed. She said, "but you need to tell yourself a story first." Sneaky little girl. LOL.
This morning is my time when I get to get away for a couple of hours by myself. I love it. It goes by so quickly. I have my chai tea and sausage/egg sandwich from Starbuck and my computer with me. What else do I need?
Last night I was surfing the web and went to America's Got Talent. They are in the process of finding people for their up and coming season!!! I thought I could send in a Broadway piece, "So Long Deary" from Hello Dolly. I don't remember seeing anyone sing Broadway performances on the show do you? Anyway, I couldn't get to sleep I was so excited about the possiblities. Then I prayed and asked God to reveal to me what He thought I should do and I would follow my heart. This morning I woke up and realized I didn't want to do it anymore. That would take me away from my family and my passion to write christian songs. Alas, my excitement was fun for a little while. But I just have such a drive to write for God and to HIm it's amazing. I don't want to get distracted.
I've written over 40 songs now. I can't help it. But I struggle because I want to be singing professionally all around the world for God's glory and purpose. However, I find myself just almost asleep when my son starts to really cry and I go in to rock him back to sleep. (I really enjoyed this moment last night) Or consumed with picking up after everyone in the family, running errands, calming arguements, doing activities, getting out for the kids, the list goes on. I am a stay at home mom and support my husband leading worship at the church. I had to come to terms with realizing these songs might not go anywhere, but God has blessed me so much with a great family I adore (most of the time lol), a great neighborhood full of possiblities to be a witness for Christ, a wonderful church family that is full of love and support. I can't write to be known or for my own ambitions and passions. I need to write because it is who God has created me to be. It is my makeup. It is my outward expression to God and for others. It is really hard to be humble. A great discipline, but hard. I've been learning a lot since living here. It's been great. So anyway. This has been a very random post, but I wanted to share my heart and get it out. I am going back to writing now. I am hoping to introduce some more songs at our Women's WOW nights this year. It is so great to be able to worship and pray together with other women. I am excited to see where God leads us.
Losing Sleep Over It
9 years ago
5 comments:
You have a beautiful gift and that comes from God! I think anyone who gives you a gift would be flattered if you wore it out. I think that sometimes for SAHM's it's so hard to balance what we want to do with what we need to do.
I think you have found such a beautiful way to express your gift without setting your family aside. Remember that there is a time for everything...you kids won't be small and needy forever. (just until they're 30 LOL)
You are doing such great things in little steps. Keep it up!
Thank you Alida. I really need the encouragement today. I appreciate you and your example. = )
You did a lot of laughing out loud in this post! LOL! : ) Laughter is always good!
Ok--so why can't you submit original worship songs that you've written to America's Got Talent? THAT'S talent!! Something to think about!!!
(sorry--I deleted my last comment b/c I had a typo....I hate that!)
Lara, I've only heard a couple of the songs you've written. They are exceptional, in my opinion. Maybe some of them are meant to be shared with masses (our women's groups, our church, and beyond), maybe others are meant to be for just you and the Lord.
I wonder, when David wrote (many of) the Psalms, did he have any idea that they would become part of the Bible? Did he have any idea that they'd be used in mass worship thousands of years later? No. I bet he didn't!! I imagine that his intention when writing them was a way of communicating with the Lord.
I wonder what the Lord may have instore for your "psalms"! :)
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