It is a new day, the sun is shinning and I am not as down in the dumps as I was yesterday. Yea for that. = ) I think everything just compounded until I couldn't handle it anymore. Let me just clarify that my friend had an addiction to caffeine, I could relate because I am addicted to McDonald's. YUK!! I know. But it is true. So, no more for me....let's hope.
Anyway, yesterday Hannah wouldn't eat what she asked for in the morning, so her 'just as stubborn' mom told her that she couldn't have anything else until she ate her food. Well, whinning, no nap, yelling, josh screaming in his crib, and lunch came and went and no eating. I was ready to pull my hair out. I finally had to calm myself down and sit with her feeding it too her until it was done around 3:30 in the afternoon. OH BROTHER! Thankfully she ate it because I was going to go so far as to tell the nursery workers to not allow Hannah to have pizza with the other kids because I am trying to teach her a lesson. I know mean mom. She has just gotten into the habit of asking for things and then not eating it and wanting something else (unhealthy). I really wanted to nip this one in the butt. So I think we might be getting somewhere. She is doing the same thing today, but not as whinny when I tell her she has to eat her food. We'll see.
Another thing was really bothering me this weekend. Our women's ministry was having sign ups for their retreat. Well, I didn't think much about it, until a friend asked me if I had found a roommate yet. A roommate? Ah no. So I started to look for one. Everyone had their roommates already chosen which left me without one. This really affected me. Maybe it brought back past memories or something, but it bumbed me out. Silly. I am almost 30 and I feel like I am having Junior High issues. lol.
It got me thinking though. Am I unrelatable? Have I hurt anyone? Am I not fun to be with? Is it because I am a pastor's wife? Does that separate me from everyone else? Is it because I haven't lived here long enough to develop those strong relationships? I really don't know.
All I know is that I am not perfect. I have these down times in my life. Moving every 2-4 years throughout my life has caught up to me and is really affecting me. I would like to stay in one place (hopefully this place) Lord willing, and develop great lasting relationships. Have my kids grow up with their playmates and be excited about all of the fun things they are experiencing. This is so foreign to me, but so exciting to think about.
Everything that I have shared might alienate me even more. I hope not though. I hope it will show that I am human, and have up days and down days. I don't want to be someone who is unrelatable or hard to get to know. I want to be real and just plain ol' me.
I was reading Jan Karon's "At Home In Mitford," at 5:00am this morning and the pastor quoted Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you shall go; I will guide you with my eye, never doubt it!" Okay God, I am holding on to that promise. I give up. You make my path straight. I am ready to trust in you.
Today is Brian and my 7th Aniversary. I am excited. We will have fun. I will write about that later.
Losing Sleep Over It
9 years ago
6 comments:
I'm glad to hear your day is better today. I am very excited about doing growth group with you . I am really enjoying getting to know you.
Happy Anniversary! McDonalds? Your kids must LOVE you. Sarah is doing the same thing with food as Hannah. I was going to ask you about that yesterday, but forgot. Thanks for sharing your precious heart, God will make a way for you. He is your all in all. Continue to trust Him. Hugs.
Happy Anniversary! I hope you and Brian have a wonderful evening celebrating your seven years.
Moving to a new place and making new friends is such a challenge, but as I've learned this past year, can be such a blessing. I'm glas you're feeling better, these sunny days help too!
Oh my gosh, you sooo did NOT alienate anyone any more! And you are sooo NOT unrelatable (if that's even a word). I appreciate that you are such a REAL and NORMAL and HONEST person, Lara. I did not know that you were addicted to McDonald's!!! How would I ever know that little bit of information if you hadn't blogged about it? Ummm...yeah, my daughter has serious food issues. And I hope and pray that Hannah does NOT have the same food issues that Kamryn does. Or maybe I should pray that you don't have to go through the heartache and shedding of tears that I did/still do while dealing with her unhealthy eating habits. I love you lots and am so thankful for you being in my life. I am sooo looking forward to hanging out next week!
Can't wait to hear about your special night...Love anniversaries!!
Post a Comment