Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Quiet ~

It's 5:00am in the morning and I'm wide awake. Thankfully everyone is still sleeping. Ah...I can write again. I was thinking, how could I continue posting in my blog without making my child play in the office for an extended period of time. Yes! I can write out my thoughts on paper in any room we're in and when I'm done just type in the data and voila, published in 5 mins. I am going to try this and see if I'm successful at it.

I felt much better yesterday than I did the day before. I really believe I wore myself out. My body said, "STOP!" Yesterday and last night I went to bed at 9:00pm. Hannah's been waking up at 6:30am lately so I've needed to sleep way early. So I've been getting on average so far 9 hours of sleep. My body has tried to tell me I'm pregnant, but I've just been forgetting. Now, I'm beginning to realize I need to slow way down, take it easy.

Hannah and I got together with our play group. started at the park, but got rained out so we ended up at the mall, walking and sharing what our tastes in clothing and shoes were. It was fun for me to observe how different and unique we all were. I like to get together regularly. I enjoy their company so much.

We had some friends over for dinner. It was nice to hang out and get to know them better. They had two children that were so cute. I was thinking about something this morning how I've been around kids a lot lately, of all different ages. It's been very educational. I've forgotten what kids are like. I've been going month to month with Hannah, taking what comes next. Not even comprehending that she is going to be 2 one day, or 4, or 7, etc...

I read a little before bed in my "Captivating" book by John and Staci Eldredge. Basically they're trying to uncover what so many of us women have hidden away which is our captivating heart. What makes us unique, beautiful, living our lives with radiance. I'm in the chapter that talks about being wounded by our past, hating what has happened to us. It's kinda hard to read, but I can relate to some extent. For me there have been people who have said things to hurt me and put me down or have treated me in a certain way that has made me shy away from my own beauty. I have created shields of protection to protect me from getting hurt again. From reading this book I see that by being that way I'm hiding parts of myself ment to shine and be beautiful for all to see. I really want to get back to when I wasn't afraid to be me. I'm on a journey to find out who "me" is again. I'm loving it actually. It's been so freeing. By observing my friends I've seen how different we are in our looks, in our tastes, in our giftings. God has made me specifically for a reason and purpose that is totally unique to me. I'm hoping through my journey I will develop enough courage and determination to unveil my own captivating heart in what God has placed me on this earth to be and do. I'll keep you posted. = ) Until then have a wonderful day and enjoy who you've been so masterfully created to be...Captivating!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I appreciate the insights your prose must give to all those who read your words. You have such a gentle spirit and a seeking heart for our precious Lord. Hannah, the expected one and husband, Brian are all a blessing to you as you are to them. The family is used by God as a pruning tool and also doubles as a mirror that shows our truest reflection if we are brave enough to look. And so you have. You have blessed me as well.