Kiddie Pool~

I have been exhausted today. Seems like I am just not catching up on my sleep. However, even though I was dragging my kids made me smile, laugh actually! Hannah is just the cutest. We set up the pool on the driveway and put some toys in there. We have a crabapple tree and picked some yesterday so she had to put them in too. She started taking bites of each one of them. I asked her what they tasted like and she said "Sour cream." Oh, that was funny. Then she got me all wet so I began to kick up water onto her. She loved it. She would say "Get me again" and when I would she would laugh histerically and say it again. She would get out of the pool and each time move back a little bit and then a little bit more until I couldn't reach her and then she would run up to the edge of the pool and start over again. One other thing, she threw out the ball and as she went to get it she would say "so that Riley (neighbors dog) won't get it" She then started to do this routine over, and over, and over again. I finally had to devert her attention and get her thinking of something else. So funny. = ) Josh, all I have to do is make a funny face at time and he laughs and laughs. He has completely melted my heart.

Hannah's Words ~

Okay this will be short, but sweet. She has been asking, "What is sprinkling all about?" or "What is ankle all about?" So cute. "I don't think so" coming from her mother. Oh, there was one more I wanted to write about, but I lost it. When I remember I will document that one too. = ) She sure is a 2 year old these days. ALL day long she asks "Can I go in the car?" "I want to go in the car." "Can I go outside?" "I want to go outside." What is a mother to do? I want my little girl to be happy and content to be inside for awhile. Oh well. Okay time for bed. Good night......(i hope)

Hannah Went Potty!~

Sorry it's been so long. I didn't think anyone read this blog anymore. he he. Really quick I have to write and document a milestone in our baby girls life. She went poopie in the potty!!! I was changing her and she was due for a bowel movement so I asked if she wanted to go on the potty. She said "little potty." So we got it out and put it in the Living Room, let her run around without a diaper and got her dolly and dolly's potty to sit right beside her. Well, it was cute to see Hannah and dolly come and sit on their potty's and then go play and then come back to sit and then go play. I really didn't take it seriously until the phone rang. When I got up to answer it I saw it!! Her poopie!! It's grose to talk about it, but ALL the moms out there will celebrate with me. I didn't know what to do talking to a gal who was interested in my bedset for sale and praising Hannah for her accomplishment and taking the little "token" to the bathroom to wait until I got off the phone and then we could flush it down the toliet together. LOL. I finally had to tell the lady what happened and she laughed and we ended up talking alot about that!! lol. Anyway, congradulations Hannah. Mommy is SOOOOOOOOO proud of you!!

Now we all are home sick with colds. Nothing too serious though.

6:30am-Nice Day ~

A refreshing morning breeze is seeping through the open windows into our living room. Ah, so nice after yesterdays heat wave. It's just Josh and I, still very quiet. The sun is coming out and the trees are coming to life. I can almost taste summer. = )

I finally have one room in the house clean and organized. I think I believe in the whole Zen thing, cuz my head clears and I feel so much more at peace when I am in a clean room.

Today should be a fun day. Brian has another day off so we'll see what we decide to do. I know there will still be cleaning in the equation, but maybe we can get a walk in there somewhere. I also have my dance rehearsal tonight. We are getting ready for our performance. he he. It has been such a great outlet for me since Josh has been born. When it's over I am going to look for a gym to join or something.

Anyway, I didn't want to say much, just document a peaceful moment in this crazy non-stop life of mine.

Happy Mother's Day ~

My friend Leslie inspired me to also wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day. Most of the time I only think of my mother to call or connect with on Mother's Day, but Leslie extended it to all the mother's in her life. It was really sweet.

I would never trade in a million years the time I have spent being a mother. My son Josh finally fell alseep in my arms this evening while I was rocking him in his room. Instead of putting him down right away and going to get ready for church in the morning, I was content to sit there enjoying the peaceful time I had with him. It hit me that he was going to grow up like Hannah and these moments were precious.

Us moms know our kids more than anyone. Brian is wonderful with our children. They adore him, but I have to say there is a special bond I have with Hannah and Josh that can only be felt by us alone. It is awesome.

So to any mom reading this blog. I give you my love. You love your children like no other. And I know that delights the Lord so much. Have a wonderful day tomorrow. I hope you will feel honored and special because you are. = )

My Daughter is not Sleeping ~

Just recently Hannah has decided that she is not tired when I say she is tired and needs a nap. Am I seeing the signs all wrong? She goes to bed late, wakes up early, and whines around the house with her blankey, rubbing her eyes. Is she tired? I think so. So I put her down in her room and she plays with her toys for a half hour, then knocks on the door saying 'Hannah's not tired mommy,' and finally after over an hour she is quite. I think sleeping. Am I being a bad mom letting her stay in her room til she finally goes to sleep. Or should I just let her get up when she wants and wait til she practically asks to go have her nap? What is a mother to do?

The kids haven't had a regular schedule for a while because of sickness and late nights out. I am questioning myself, should I stay home more often and stick to a regular routine? Or should I live my life the way I would normally and have my kids conform and adapt?

Ah, the peace. I am glad Hannah is sleeping. She really needed it. I just wish it wouldn't take over an hour. Oh well.

Gotta get back to cleaning. = )

New Post ~

I am stairing at my computer, clicking buttons, looking at things that are blurry since my glasses are in the room where my wonderful husband is sleeping, and flat out tired. My kids are awake and thankfully acting beautifully thus far. We have all been struggling with colds, passing them back and forth to one another. The kids and I aren't sleeping very well because it's been hard for us to breathe through our noses. I feel bad for those two. They have been going to bed at 7:00p and 9:00p. josh woke up 4 times in the night. Hannah woke up at 5:30am because she couldn't breathe. Fun stuff happening over here.

I decided when this all happened that we would still live our lives and go do stuff because hey it was just a cold, but I am thinking it probably would have been wiser to stay indoors for a couple of days and try to recoupe.

Such is life. Thankfully the house is all painted and is starting to look like a nice place to stay in awhile. Before we had white walls. I always felt unsettled and frusterated to stay inside. Now it is nice to stay home for more than a day at a time. lol.

Okay, Hannah wants me to change dolly's diaper and Josh is done playing with his hanging bears so I'd better go. = )

So I Don't Forget ~

I wanted to have some quality time here at the computer to jot down some great stories of my two little ones, but it seems like I just never have enough time to do so. This little time that I have is really ment for my household chores. BORING! Oh well, hope this will make sense. I have to document these things before they escape my memory forever.

Hannah has been talking up a storm lately. It is pretty amazing. Even though she is a very bright little girl, she still is very innocent about things around her. We went to the coast with Brian's sisters a couple weeks back and when Hannah saw the ocean she was so suprised. She said, "Look Mama, a bath, a bath tub." It was really the cutest thing. How she made that correlation I will never know. We took her down to see it and the waves were coming pretty quickly that is scared her too much. Maybe next year.

Um...I caught her and Josh in the back seat of the car holding hands. Today we were playing in her room and she wanted me to go "night night" in her bed. So I played along and layed down. She said she wanted to "tuck me in" so she did and she gave me her favorite blanket. She said, "have a night night nap mom, close your eyes, good dreams." I closed my eyes and then opened them a minute later. She came back and said, "go to sleep, go see horses when wake up." (I sometimes coax her to sleep with fun things to do when she wakes up) Then I asked her if she would pray ,she said, "Dear Jesus, give mommy good sleep, amen." What a sweetheart she is.

Okay, I better go now. Josh is crying with Brian so I just don't know how long I actually have to clean the house. = )

Easter ~

Happy Easter Everyone!

I've really tried to get involved this easter season. Brian and I tried Lent. We did well for a couple of weeks then oops we gave in. I never did Lent before so I wasn't really committed to it. I knew God loved me even though I didn't observe Lent. I did respect the consept. It made me focus on why I was taking out something that was important to me. I focused more on my relationship with God. I respect the idea of fasting more now too. I sang a lead role in the oratorio Saviour last week which really got my heart in the right place. And today I am a part of worship. So I think I am ready. = )

Thank you Lord for your Son, Jesus Christ. I am so humbled and honored to be saved by his grace and mercy. May you be worshiped and honored today. Love you.

A Shower Would Be Good ~

I am definitely going to take a shower before I go to my moms group this morning. What a joy that will be! Guess what!!! Josh slept for 9 1/2 hours straight last night. YEA!! The night before he had a 5 hour stretch from 7:00-12:00a then we woke up every hour. So I asked God to help me get the sleep I needed to keep up with these kids. I asked for His faithfulness. Awesome eh? I know it was Him.

About Hannah's kitchen, she loves it. She asks "mom come room" pointing to her room "come play house." So cute. She also was very huggy yesterday without me asking for one. he he. I am starting to notice that I melt way too easily these days.

Lastly, my husband and I took these Myres Brigg personality tests two days ago. I came out to be an ENFP, he was an INTJ. Quite different. He had a handful of president's that had his personality and I, well let's just say Dr. Suess made the cut on my end. LOL. And that's okay with me. = )

Giggles are the BEST! ~

I needed to write this post before I went to bed because today marked the first time Joshua full out giggled. It was the cutest ever. He was in his bouncer and Hannah was eating dinner in her high chair. I was playing with him, trying to get him to smile and I guess I did something that suprised him and he laughed a hardy laugh. I just melted. His laugh was very simular to Hannah's when she started, but it also sounded like a boys laugh. I can't explain it any better than that. He's already got my heart, but this just was the icing on the cake. I called Brian right away to see if he could hear him over the phone. He did. = ) Hannah didn't start laughing til she was 5-6 months old! Josh is starting young. = )

I also found a play kitchen for Hannah's birthday on craigslist. We were going to go take a look at it this afternoon, but the weather wasn't the best so we decided to hold off til' tomorrow. Hopefully the roads won't be too bad. I am really excited about it.

Love My Kids Day ~

Some days I look at my kids and just want the day to end so we can start over with a brand new day. = ) But there are other days when the weight of the world fades, time stands still, and I am consumed with love for my children. Today was one of those days.

Hannah was so cute. She always is, but we had fun together just hanging out. I never realized I could laugh hysterically the way I would with my best friend with my baby daughter who isn't even 2 yet!! She also has a silly, sarcastic sense of humor like I do. For example, she would see a dog in a book and I would say 'oh is that a duck?' and she would look at me and laugh, shaking her head and say 'No.' Oh forget it. You had to be there. Anyway, there are some other things that probably wouldn't translate, however I want to include them for documentary sake.

Like the way she'd ask me to blow a 'big bubble.' Her expression was just so adorable. She also likes to say 'uppies on the bed, uppies on leg, uppies on mom, uppies on crib, uppies on chair', you get the idea. She was "helping" me make pizza dough this afternoon (almost choked on a handful of flour!) and I gave her a couple of gummy bears for a treat. She, for whatever reason, now calls them 'gummyaches.' Don't ask me how she got that. It was soooo cute though. I can't bring myself to correct her. It is just too much fun to listen to. When Josh is crying and I am in the other room, she will say to him "It's okay Josh, you're alright. Ahhh, It's okay." She is starting to want to help me around the house with little cleaning projects. Today she learned how to jump on the bed for the first time. She has always been more of a verbal child than active. So now she is really trying to jump up and down. It seems to help when she is on the bed. A couple of times she has tried to jump on the floor and has landed on her bumb. How do us as parents stop from laughing when these funny things happen to our children. I hope I don't end up giving her a complex.

Josh loves to be kissed by his mouth. He loves to be tickled. He is already reaching for my plate when we're eating at the table. He kicks and bounces a lot in his bouncy chair. He loves to cuddle with his mommy. He is starting to hold his head up. Still a bit wobbly, but getting better. I have to say that since I've had Josh I love being home more with the two of them. Don't get me wrong, they definitely can be a handful, but they also can fill my days with joy and fun.

On days like today Hannah and Josh make me want to have more.!?!@?! Crazy, but cool.

Hello again

So much has been happening since Josh has come into our lives. I have to pick and choose what things are important to get done during my few and far between hours to myself. It is either sleep, do the chores, or get out of the house for some peace and quiet. I really want to start writing again, but it has been really dificult to find quality time to. For instance, Hannah is having quiet time in her crib because she was not minding me and I couldn't deal with it any longer. Josh is in his bouncy chair just crying at me. It's been one of those days. Brian doesn't get home for another hour or so. Will I make it? I hope so. Maybe Oprah has something great to watch. lol. Anyway, I wanted to vent for a sec. What do you do when your nerves are shot and you just want to get away and chill your brain for at least a couple of hours? Right now I have no idea? I will try to write again some positive wonderful things that are happening even though it might not sound like it right now. = )

Baby Boy !!!

He is finally here. His name is Joshua. He was born Sunday November 27th and weighed 8lbs. 6oz. He is soooo handsome. I completely fell in love with him the moment he was placed on my chest. What an awesome day that was. Plus, my parents were there to witness his birth. They were suppose to leave that morning, but decided to wait out my labor since it was almost 24 hours long. = )

My water broke at 7:30pm. Everyone was sitting there pretty much watching me go through each contraction. My dad couldn't handle it. Poor guy I don't blame him. Brian was frantic and in his own world trying to get everything ready to go to the hospital. We got there and checked in and my contractions sped up to one every 2-4 minutes. They needed my signature for paperwork and to ask me all the questions they asked me when we PRE-REGISTERED!!!! I was soo mad. I was IN LABOR!! HELLO!! Thankfully I had my mom and Brian there to calm me down and hold me back from exploding. he he. Finally they took me to the delivery room were it took me only on hour and a half to deliver him. They weren't expecting me to be ready so quickly. When I got there I was already 6-7 cm dialated. When the doctor came in he was going to check back with me in an hour to see if I would be ready to push. I asked him what that would feel like and he told me. I said I think I feel that way NOW! He checked and I had fully dialated and was ready to push him out. I have to confess I did buckle down and get the epideral at the last minute. I was so afraid that I would scream my head off and say not so nice things if I didn't. It didn't take the whole way cuz of the speed of delivery so I was able to feel the pain and pressure of pushing.

It was such an awesome and painful experience. I swear, when they took me up to the recovery room I had already forgotten about the pain. With Hannah, ah I didn't forget for a LONG time. But with him it was a distant memory. Well worth the effort. Funny huh?

Well, I need to go and feed the little guy. Brian and Hannah are out runny errands. God has just blessed us abundantly. I'll have to tell you how much I saw his faithfulness and love during this whole thing next time. It is amazing!

Just the Three of Us ~

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. What a day this will be. For most of us it will be filled with family, friends, comotion, food, food, food, games, (are there football games on?), and a time around the table to give thanks. For others it might be just a time of reflection, of peace from the normal everyday grind. Whatever it will turn out to be, it will be wonderful. There is so much to be thankful for. God is extremely faithful. I want to make sure that I remember Him today.

No baby yet. = ) I had false labor Monday and Tuesday, but by Weds. it all stopped. I have been feeling like I am only 6 months along again. I went to my doctor's appt. and found out that none of that work did anything to change my progress. I prayed 'please Lord let me have this baby before my parents get here so that they could be a part of this special time.' So I have to be honest it has been difficult not getting discouraged about it. I've tried walking up and down Cosco and my neighborhood, bouncing on my exercise ball, doing chores around the house, cooking a roast, playing with Hannah, eating spicy food. I don't think there is much more I can do at this point. lol. It's so silly how the last days are just up and down with emotions and anxiety and signs of possible labor.

I have a friend who has helped me focus on the positives of this Thanksgiving holiday that has been such a blessing for me because it is easy to slip into an oh poor me attitude right now. She said this might be a good time for us as a threesome to enjoy eachother for the last time before we become four. It's true. Hannah will get lots of attention from her grandparents, Brian and I might catch a movie for a last date night lol, I might be able to go out shopping with my mom and have hang time. Just have time to appreciate the little things and hide them in my heart when I will be up with Mr. boy in the middle of the night for the next six months or so. (See if I put it that way it doesn't seem like such a bad deal does it?) Plus, my mom is going to be making her turkey dinner for us. It will be heavenly.

Well, I hope that you have a wonderful long weekend with the ones you love and if you are feeling alone this Thanksgiving remember this could be a great time to spend with God and dwell on His love and comfort. There will always be seasons in our lives, but God is always in them all. We are never alone.

I'm Up, I'm Up, I'm Up!! ~

Okay it is 2:45am in the morning and I can't get to sleep. I went to bed at 9:00pm and now I'm up. Yesterday, I had another downer day. Talked to my dad about it and he suggested I read Phil chapter 4 and dwell on it this week. So here is what I am dwelling on thus far: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything present your requests to God and you will find peace through Christ Jesus."

This is a tough thing to do. I have been anxious about EVERYTHING lately. It's been about me quite a bit this week. So this verse is good for me right now. I have to remember that I can find peace and pure joy in Christ Jesus if I look for it in his word and in spending time with him. I love knowing we are not alone. That the God of the universe cares about every little detail of our lives and comforts us through his presence and promises.

I have my doctor's appt. today in the morning. I hope I've progressed more. I am wanting to stay home more. My stomach is so heavy and sore. Whenever I walk I ache alot. I've had a hard time not being able to pick up Hannah. She is my baby. However, I do find that when I do I pay for it with pain in my back. Oh well, like I said she is my baby. I can't help it.

I found a journal insert from April 2nd, 04' the night I started going into labor with Hannah. It was very insightful and encouraged me that I was at the end now. I was very exhausted and extremely hungry. lol. My contractions were getting very uncomfortable. I really, really hope he comes in a couple of days. I don't know how much longer I can carry him around and still be productive. He is a heavier baby than Hannah I am pretty sure about that.

Anyway, I think that is all for now. I might surf the web for a bit more and hopefully go back to sleep for pete sake.

I Am So Tired ~

Was it just me or were there others who had the case of the moodies? I knew today would be a long day because Brian works til 9:00p at night, but I was tired, bored, couldn't think straight. There were so many things I could have found myself doing, but didn't want to do any of them. My poor daughter must have been extremely bored. We do a lot of lounging and cuddling these days. = )

I had Brian come home for a couple of hours so I could take a nap. Hannah had a good one, but I couldn't go to sleep because of the acid reflux that was disturbing things. I feel like I am such a downer today.

Thankfully, I put Hannah down for bed (she is still awake talking to herself!?!) and now I think I will have that wonderful shower I have been hoping for all day. lol. I hate taking showers, but it's amazing how much better you feel afterwards. It's always a mind over matter thing for me. lol.

Okay, I've vented a bit, feel a little better. Thanks for listening. = )

Not as Big as I Thought ~

I had my doctor's check up and I was almost positive that I had gained 8 pounds since the last visit. Last night I felt like I was carrying a ball n' chain in my tummy! For sure, I MUST be 160 lbs. I stepped on the scale and I LOST a pound. OH BROTHER. I was 150 lbs. So I guess I have an "over-exaggerating" problem. lol.

Anyway, baby and mommy are healthy and still waiting for the big day. It is getting closer and closer. The evenings are the toughest for me. I am tired and achy. My lower back hurts most of the time, especially when I walk. I think to myself, 'how long will I be able to carry all of this weight before I go insane?' I know, when he comes I will be carrying the weight still, but my arms have been getting a great toning work-out with Hannah, however my stomach, well it was just getting over the last baby.

I had a "nesting" episode yesterday with Brian. I told him we had to rearrange the living room furniture, get the baby's room ready with the bassenet up, fold laundry, prepare the guest bed just in case, pack the suitcase, and make sure the kitchen is clean. We did it and now I feel good about things. The last thing on the list is put the carseat in the car. I know Brian will get this done soon or else he'll have to come back home and do it when I am in the hospital. He is really putting up with a lot. A lot of emotions and fatigue. Must be difficult for him. Thankfully it will almost be over and then on to the next faze of sleepless nights and ongoing crying. lol.

There really are joys that go a long with parenting. We took Hannah to ride the carasel at the park and then played in the playground together as a family. Brian brought the camera. It was cold in the 40's, but the sun was shining and we were all together. I loved it!

Well, time to go chill in bed, watch tv, read, go to sleep. = )

The Last Month ~

I am almost onto my 37th week of pregnancy. Two days ago I had some false labor contractions and prelabor symptoms. The contractions were crampy and I had three in an hour. I was kinda nervous. Was this the beginning? Nope. They let up. After calling the nurse and getting anxious I just decided to forget about the contractions until they start to get more frequent and more painful. It's not like I don't know what that feels like. But I have to say that this pregnancy has been different then Hannah's. Everything seemed to happen and progress much quicker. I don't remember having contractions til 2 weeks before she came. They weren't crampy or sore until I was in labor.

These warning signs, however, have really gotten me motivated to finish last minute things before he comes. I wrote a list of 10 things I wanted to have done before he was born. I showed them to Brian and asked him to help me. He is a sweetheart. And a task oriented person thank goodness.

One of my friends offered to take Hannah for a couple of hours today so that I could get some stuff done. It was great of her to just offer because knowing me I probably wouldn't have asked anyone. So I've decided to try to finish painting Hannah's room. I left the walls white, but started painting flowers and butterflies a while ago. I know exactly what I want to acomplish. She has a Winnie the Pooh and Piglet on her wall too. She needs a border and some finishing touches like a tree in the closet and a little more flowers and then I will be done. So I'm really looking forward to doing that.

I was thinking I would have Brian paint the boy's room a toupe color to make it a bit warmer and then excesserize (spelling, hmmm) with a choo, choo theme. I also told Brian I needed the upstairs to be painted so that we didn't need to deal with the fumes when baby came. Poor Brian so many projects in such little time. He is a good sport though. I thought the nesting thing only happened with the first baby, but not in my case.

Hannah is down for her nap so I thought I would write a little today. I am really on a day by day basis. The baby could come today or past the due date. It is just a mystery. I am soooooo hoping he'll come before my parents get here for Thanksgiving. Wouldn't that be great!!

I'll try to write again, but who knows maybe the next time will be with a newborn in my arms!!

Ok, I Gotta Say ~

That I can't promise to write as much anymore, like I want to. It is just getting too close to "D" day and my body is just wearing down. Last weekend I went to the hospital to be monitored cuz' I had some questionable pains in my abdomen I had never felt before. They started when I was making pizza in the kitchen. Then I laid down on the couch for a bit and when I wanted to get up it was all I could do to roll off the couch. I stayed on all fours for a couple minutes, not moving because I was in pain. It kinda scared me so I called Brian to come home and give me a break so I could rest and he wanted me to get some advice from the doctor. They said to come in.

Thankfully (I think, lol) I wasn't having contractions. I just pulled some ligaments due to stretching and pulling of the uterus. I was a little disappointed that my son wasn't planning to come sooner rather than on time, but I now know to call the doctor when the contractions are realling starting or my water breaks. So relax, relax I say. mmm...

Last night I couldn't keep from falling asleep at 8:00p and getting up at 7:00am, feeling like i could have gone another hour or two. I also had an hour/half nap in the day. Crazy huh? Tonight is the same. I completely wore out after dinner. My left hip is sore and achy, my heart feels like it is racing and I am on my way to go "night, night." All I can say is that my time is very limiting right now. Wierd.

Hannah is doing good. She is a wonderful, beautiful, unreasonable little toddler. I feel like I am a 24 hour a day teacher and guidance counselor. No wonder I am worn out by days end. She has been teething and also getting over a cold. She had her 18 month check up and she's doing fine. They told us all of the shots she would need to take. Some of the risks to them are kinda scary, like the flu shot having mercury corrolates to autism, Chickenpox vaccine has a slim chance of causing seizures and maybe even death??? Did we ever have to take a vaccine for chickenpox? I thought our parents wanted us to get it young so that we would be immune to it as adults. huh. Anyway, very interesting.

Well, til' next time. I'm off to bed.