This Stuff Is Good ~

Okay so it is coming to the end of the third day and I smell great!! = ) I can't believe it. I feel really good using this new crystal deoderant. Before I would use Secret Antipersprant and it would make my underarms sore. That might be hard to believe, but I think it's true, cuz' I haven't felt that way at all these past three days. I sure hope this crystal turns out to be everything I am hoping for. = )

Today was a happy, sad day. I was able to catch up with a friend that I've been meaning to see for ages. She is such an awesome person. I just love hanging out with her. After she left though, some things were weighing heavy on my heart. I am definitely a feeler so when I feel happy, I am super happy, when I feel sad I am super sad. So, I turned on my worship music (Paul Baloche's new cd is amazing and everyone should have a copy of it in my opinion) and prayed, pouring my heart out to God. Sometimes life feels like a peace of cake and other times the weight of it gets too heavy for me to bare. The more time I spend here on earth, the more I long to be with Jesus. I am hoping that God will really bring answers to these situations that I'm concerned about and also peace and hope. He is the only one who can.

The kids and I stayed home most of the day, but had to get out before dinner to the park. They had fun walking, Josh did awesome walking beside me, holding my finger. He loved the freedom he had. There were kids there waiting for their parents to pick them up so they played with Hannah and Josh for awhile. One kid just sat right infront of Josh, Indian style and starred at him. What was up with that? He told one of his friends that he liked babies. I just sat back and observed. It was pretty interesting. I think he was in 1st grade. We then decided (I then decided) that we should go home since it was getting cold and have some yummy, hot soup. So we did and had some great one on one time or two on one time. I actually sat down with the kids and played with their toys and read them stories. Usually I am feeling the pressure (from myself) to clean the dishes, give the kids baths, do the laundry, tidy up the toys, get the kids ready for bed and the list goes on. It is very hard for me to stop and enjoy Hannah and Josh's world.

So there were some happy times and some hard times today. I am very prayerful about so many things. I just pray that God will be present in these situations and He will see them through.

Did You Enjoy The Sunshine? ~

I sure did. I got a chance to get out and have some alone time today. Went to the church and practiced some worship songs in the sanctuary. It was so relaxing and rejuvenating. When I get to spend time with God talking or singing or praying I am restored and refreshed. I know the 4 R's. lol. But it is so true. I find that I get bogged down by life's pressures way too easily. It must be my nature. So finding calm and quiet brings much needed balance.

Brian and I have been trying to fight off colds for a couple of days now. I am over the worst, but my poor husband is just not feeling well. He has the chills and chest cough. It is hard to see him like this. You know how special he is? He took care of the kids today so that I could go practice for a few hours and then take a much needed nap in the day. I felt very spoiled today. I hope he knows how much I love him and appreciate all that he does.

A couple of random side notes to get you updated, Thursday I went to a Naturalization Ceremony. Yes, I am now an American citizen. It was a pretty special event I must say. There were 47 countries represented, about 150 people not including all the family and friends attending. It was held on the 16th floor of the courthouse. Brian and the kids were there, but out of the room with the stroller. Brian would peek in every now and then to see the back of my head. Everyone in charge was so gracious and accomidating. The Judge led us through an oath of citizenship and then the Pledge of Allegience. He thanked us for the sacrifice we each had to make to become part of this country. Then they gave us our certificates and an American flag (that Hannah and Josh ended up playing with). It was fun and a bit moving. Brian was so proud of me. He took us to the Macaroni Grill. Yum, Yum. It is probably my favorite restaurant. The food is delicious everytime!

Second random side note (you're going to kill me for this unimportant one), but I am trying a new deoterant. okay. Yes, I will give everyone a moment to laugh.......................

Okay, now seriously, it is a crystal stone from the health foods store. I wanted to get away from using antipersperant because of the alluminum content. So I am on day one and not stinky. I couldn't believe it. Not that I have a terrible problem with this, but I put it on in the morning and it lasted the whole day! Let me check one more time......Yep, still working. LOL!!!!! The crystal was only $6.- dollars and is suppose to last for a year. So I will keep all of you posted on this. I know you will all be dying to find out the results.

Well, I am going to do a couple of things and then try to watch 24 with Brian. Note the "try" I get scared pretty easily. We'll see.

My Love and Me ~

I woke up. It was a new day. I was excited to drop the kids off at the babysitter's and drive with my hubby to someplace fun. I asked Brian to plan everything. It was a great gift. He came up with such a cool idea to go ice skating. I was so excited to do something different. I think the last time either of us skated was in Junior High!! Anyway, on our way up there we realized that we wouldn't have enough time to enjoy being alone. Most of it would be spent in the car. So spur of the moment, we decided to stop off at the Family Fun Center. It was awesome! We stopped off at Starbucks first to get some much needed food, sat in our car in the parking lot eating, and enjoyed the peace and quiet. (there was a guy power-washing the sidewalk and it was right next to the freeway!) LOL! But to us that was quiet. We played and played and played. The go carts, batting cages, rollerball, dance nation, video games, air hockey (I won!) YES! = ) And bought some fun stuff for the kids. We also got our pictures taken in one of those photo booths. So funny! You'll have to ask to see them. By the way, I thought we went on the bumper cars, instead of go carts. I laughed the whole time I was ramming into Brian with my car. He was looking at me wierd, but I thought he was just bugged that I was winning. = ) Until we stopped and I saw this tiny sticker on the back of the cars that read, "DO NOT BUMP THE OTHER CARS!" Brian taddled on me. It was hilarious in my opinion. Then we had a nice early dinner. What a great day that was. We laughed and flirted and just remembered how it was before kids. It was very refreshing.

Brian and I have been married for 7 years now. He is a very special man to me. So loving and devoted. Everything I am not, he is, which completely balances me out. I love it. I learn from him everyday something amazing and wise. We complete each other. He is definitely my best friend who pretty much knows me inside and out. We have reached the point in our marriage where we can't get away with anything anymore. We can read each others expressions and know what it going on. We love each other unconditionally and want to spend the rest of our lives together. What a rich life I have with my amazing husband and two precious little children. Thank you God for blessing me abundantly. Brian is such a gift.

New Day ~

It is a new day, the sun is shinning and I am not as down in the dumps as I was yesterday. Yea for that. = ) I think everything just compounded until I couldn't handle it anymore. Let me just clarify that my friend had an addiction to caffeine, I could relate because I am addicted to McDonald's. YUK!! I know. But it is true. So, no more for me....let's hope.

Anyway, yesterday Hannah wouldn't eat what she asked for in the morning, so her 'just as stubborn' mom told her that she couldn't have anything else until she ate her food. Well, whinning, no nap, yelling, josh screaming in his crib, and lunch came and went and no eating. I was ready to pull my hair out. I finally had to calm myself down and sit with her feeding it too her until it was done around 3:30 in the afternoon. OH BROTHER! Thankfully she ate it because I was going to go so far as to tell the nursery workers to not allow Hannah to have pizza with the other kids because I am trying to teach her a lesson. I know mean mom. She has just gotten into the habit of asking for things and then not eating it and wanting something else (unhealthy). I really wanted to nip this one in the butt. So I think we might be getting somewhere. She is doing the same thing today, but not as whinny when I tell her she has to eat her food. We'll see.

Another thing was really bothering me this weekend. Our women's ministry was having sign ups for their retreat. Well, I didn't think much about it, until a friend asked me if I had found a roommate yet. A roommate? Ah no. So I started to look for one. Everyone had their roommates already chosen which left me without one. This really affected me. Maybe it brought back past memories or something, but it bumbed me out. Silly. I am almost 30 and I feel like I am having Junior High issues. lol.

It got me thinking though. Am I unrelatable? Have I hurt anyone? Am I not fun to be with? Is it because I am a pastor's wife? Does that separate me from everyone else? Is it because I haven't lived here long enough to develop those strong relationships? I really don't know.

All I know is that I am not perfect. I have these down times in my life. Moving every 2-4 years throughout my life has caught up to me and is really affecting me. I would like to stay in one place (hopefully this place) Lord willing, and develop great lasting relationships. Have my kids grow up with their playmates and be excited about all of the fun things they are experiencing. This is so foreign to me, but so exciting to think about.

Everything that I have shared might alienate me even more. I hope not though. I hope it will show that I am human, and have up days and down days. I don't want to be someone who is unrelatable or hard to get to know. I want to be real and just plain ol' me.

I was reading Jan Karon's "At Home In Mitford," at 5:00am this morning and the pastor quoted Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you shall go; I will guide you with my eye, never doubt it!" Okay God, I am holding on to that promise. I give up. You make my path straight. I am ready to trust in you.

Today is Brian and my 7th Aniversary. I am excited. We will have fun. I will write about that later.

Today ~

Is a hard day. Up and down emotions. Loneliness. What can I do? "Lessons Learned" is playing in the background. I hope that I will learn lessons today.

My friend is taking caffeine out of her life, most of it. I have to relate to her struggle. I went to McDonald's and drowned in a number #10. = )

I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

To Write or Not to Write ~

That was the question. = ) I love writing, but I also love being quiet, reading, spending time with Brian and then going to bed at 9-10pm. So that doesn't leave me much time to sit down and write on my blog.

I have really begun to quiet down my life since the New Year. I am conciously more aware of what goes on in the month, rather than being so random and booking something everyday of the week. In the Bible, I think in 1 Corinthians it talks about symplifying your life. My friend resently purchased the "Joyce Meyer" Bible and loved it. So I thought I would give it a try too. I LOVE IT! I can't stop reading it. Which is a good thing, right? I love her commentaries and notes. Anyways, in that passage she notes that the more simple your life can be the more peace and joy you will receive. Okay, so I am taking her on. And it seems to be working. I know it hasn't even been a month, yet, however I am hopeful. It got me to think about all of the things that were important to me. Now this revelation also came with another one, that God didn't care what we did with our lives except only that we would use what he has given us for his glory, his work. I for so long have felt pressure from within and from family to further my singing into a career. Well, I tried so many different avenues, broadway, jazz, cover bands, classical, pop, you name it, but found myself only wanting to sing for and to God. That was where I felt the most fulfilled. But recently, I have felt God saying to me, slow down, be still, wait on me. Almost, die to your self and your dreams and follow me.

What a wrestling match I have been having with God lately. Anyway, I am doing that now. I still write and sing when I can, but my mind isn't constantly on higher asperations and goals. It is staying in the moment with my adorable children, with my wonderful husband, and with my relationship with God. My spirit has calmed down quite a bit.

So now my life consists of kids, Brian, God (I know that is the wrong order, I am working on it) = ) Some time with friends, reading, writing music, and sleeping, oh and keeping the house clean. I think that is about all I can handle right now. Even that is a bit much at times. = )

Hannah has started potty training, offically this week. We started her a couple of days ago half with diapers and half without. She had some accidents, but I am so proud to say that today she had 0 accidents, when to the bathroom everytime, held it during naps. (Yes, there were rewards involved, but hey I'm not complaining) She was SOOOO proud of herself today. Her daddy came home (with some helpful nudging from a friend lol ) with a balloon for her that read "You're Special." And he bought me a rose as well. Good Job Brian!! Hannah is also drawing really well, I think, for a 2 year old. Today I found a picture she drew a while ago of a pig! And then today she drew some suns with smiley faces on them. Is this normal? Seems unique to me. Oh well, I am a proud momma, I know.

Joshua started taking his first few steps yesterday morning with his father. He stands on his own every once and awhile. It will be fun seeing him try to keep up with Hannah around the house. Oh, side note, during one of Hannah's trips to the potty I was busy washing her hands and found Josh's hand in the toilet, playing with the water!! YUK!!! Thankfully we had flushed it. He is definitely a curious George. Okay one more thing, we came home from study and our dog was waiting for us. Josh started saying, "Austin, Austin, Hi Austin, Hi Austin" When we put him down he imediately went to him and started playing with him. So cute. One more thing. He says, "mmmm!!!" when he eats something he likes. What a cutie. Okay, okay, I'll stop for now. = )

Okay, it's almost my bedtime cutoff. Hope to write again soon. Good night.

2007'

Happy New Year Everyone. Hope you all have a great new year!

No matter what happens, what we strive for, what struggles may come our way, what new and exciting things in store, the memories we will make, let's put our relationship with God first in our lives. Let's go to Him first with everything that is on our minds. He is the creator of everything, of us all. He deserves to be our center.

My heart longs for you God. It's yours. Use me in whatever way you choose. I am nothing, Lord. Please make me into something this next year 2007, bringing glory and honor to your name. I love you.

Good Night ~

Smile ~

I just woke up to an email saying a friend had her new baby girl last night. Isn't it neat that an email can make your whole day!! But not just that, a new baby has come into the world. I can hardly wait to see her.

Josh really wants to get on my computer so this will be short. = ) Have a great day and if you haven't finished your Christmas shopping yet I will be thinking of you. I've heard it's crazy out there.

FUNNY, FUNNY ~

Okay I don't know how long this entry will turn out to be, but I had to post this. I thought it was just so cute. I took the kids to Walmart this afternoon they were great all things considering. We went by the book section (was looking for stocking stuffers) and Hannah says "WILBER, WILBER!!" what, where? "WILBER!" the pig? "YEAH!!" It was the Charlotte's Web book. She loves the movie. So I thought okay that would be a good stocking stuffer. Into the cart it went. Then we went further down the kids section and Hannah says "JOYCE MEYER, JOYCE MEYER!!" WHAT??? "OVER THERE JOYCE MEYER!!"" I laughed so hard the tears almost rolled. Umm... is she ready for Joyce Meyer at 2 years old??? NOPE not yet. You can guess who I have been watching lately. LOL! That made my day.

We've been pretty busy lately with the Christmas season and all. I am a part of a Women's Ensemble that is going to be singing Dec. 17th. It's exciting, we are doing some great Christmas songs. Christmas is my FAVORITE time of year. I know all the songs, I love everything that goes along with Christmas. I'm excited to introduce our kids to some family traditions. Hannah just started talking about Santa and pointing him out in the stores. Is she ready for Santa?? I don't know, maybe. It's kinda fun to pretend with her.

She is really into pretending now. The following is constant throughout the day: "Mommy, can you be Wilber?" oh, okay "Can you be pony?" oh okay "Are you a girl or a boy?" i'm a girl "You have to be a boy" but I am a pony with pink and purple hair! "You have to be a boy" oh okay "Can you be a cartoon?" "Can you be Mrs. Tabitha?" "Can you be Mary?" "Can you be baby Jesus?" Ah!! Who needs to act on stage when you are playing a character every 10 mins?!?! lol. That girl is extremely entertaining and so much fun.

Josh is starting to talk, (in his own way of course). This is what he is saying: "Austi" for Austin our dog, "Ma!!!" for mom, "moh" for more, "ah ah ah ah" for what Austin says (very cute!), "bawooon" for balloon, "Thanxsss" for thank you. "hmm??" for a question of some sort, "Hah" for hi. I know you might be thinking ya okay MOM! But I am convinced this is what he is trying to say right now. He is still my love bug. Into everything. I can tell that I am in for it when he starts walking. Way more than Hannah ever was.

So anyway, things are going good. I am going to start baking pretty soon. I have lots of exciting new recipes to try. I am hoping that we will be able to get a tree this weekend when Brian is off. It's not the same without a tree. I've put up the Christmas stockings and decorated the railing in the entry, but not too much yet. I had to start listening to Christmas music though. Brian isn't really into Christmas music so much. I think it is growing on him though. The kids and I have it on all the time. I guess it was just how I grew up.

Well, I better go do something productive, like the dishes or the laundry or etc, etc, etc... Til next time.

Charlotte's Web ~

I am hiding out in my room as the children watch this all time favorite movie in the Living Room. = ) No not really, Brian took the kids while I got to have a nice shower. I feel alive again. Hannah is so cute. She came running into our room yelling, "come back kitty cat, come back." I don't know why. Her smile is so contagious.

She is not feeling well today. She was whinning a lot this morning. A common cold. So I don't think we'll be doing much. Anyway, I better go blow her nose now. Till next time.

Sunday ~

It is quietly raining outside. I've put the kids to bed and I think Josh has finally gone to sleep. It is just so hard sometimes to hear him cry in his bed. I know that it is normal and healthy for him, but the mommy warning alarm pounds in my heart and i have to conciously ignore it. Anyway, quiet, peaceful, priceless. Thank you Lord Jesus for these priceless moments. They're awesome.

What a stormy day it was at church. The wind was blowing pretty strongly and the rain was coming down as I took both kids to the doors of the church. Hannah had blood on her hand and I had some on my finger, thankfully there was someone to open the door for us. I must have got a paper cut or something without even noticing.

I really enjoyed the service today. The pastors team taught about communion and there were a couple great testimonies of how God has been so faithful through some difficult times. Isaiah 41:13 was a verse that stood out to me. I'd like to write a song about that verse.

Josh started crying again. I started him on whole milk. He usually has a bottle before bed, but I thought I would try a sippy cup instead. I am starting to think that did not work.

Should I go in there? Hmmm.... Probably, but I really don't want to. His crying has gotten louder. Well, good night my friends. I better go make a bottle.

p.s. Yep, I was pretty happy today. I'm not sure why. But I have to say that the "Weekend to Remember" conference was well worth it. It sparked up our marriage and helped us understand and appreciate each other more. It was great.

Ok. gotta go. = )

We're Home ~

Had an awesome time and the "Weekend to Remember" conference. The kids did great at grandma and grandpa's house. The conference was in Semiahmoo (spelling??) Blaine, Washington. We stayed in Lynden at a nice hotel. It was so good for our marriage. We needed a refresher, an encouragement, ya know? We realized that we were gifts from God to each other. That we completed one another. I would recommend this to everyone. We are fighting against the world's view on how marriage should be and God's view of how marriage should be. And God was the one who created it in the first place so his way will ALWAYS win out in the end. There were every age and every stage of marriage there. The longest married couple was 42 years and the youngest was 2 DAYS!! lol. We were all wondering why they were there??

Anyway, it was great. I think I am ready for what reality has in store. I think I can take it on now. he he. Like housework.

Well, good night. Looking forward to blogging again soon. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! = )

A Story ~

"Let me tell you a story. Once a pona time there was a trip." "Oh really, who went on this trip?" I said. "I can't tell you.......You'll have to wait and see," said Hannah. What a cutie. Her attention span was short so the story ended right there, but I wanted to write it down as a memory. Today I go for my citizen interview. I am nervous, but ready. I think. We will also be going to a Marriage Seminar this weekend. The kids will be at the grandparents. Oh boy are we looking forward to this!! Have a great rest of the week. = )

Defeating the Letdown ~

Have you ever gone to a conference or experienced something big and then you find yourself back to your normal life just spent and letdown? I am feeling that way today and fighting it. I had to really keep myself busy around the house and had to really pray and spend time with God to help with the emotions I was feeling. I took the kids to Dairy Queen and we got corn dogs and milkshakes, and then took them to a park nearby and sat in the car eating our snack and reading Psalms together. It was actually quite nice. Hannah got into it. Josh was a bit fussy. (he didn't get a corndog lol)

I gleened from Paul Baloche, Kathryn Scott, Brenton Brown, Charlie Peacock, and so many others, all I wanted to do is be back there to spend more time with these people. Do you know how many times I had to tell myself to calm down today?Unfortunately patience does not come easily. Working on it.

Anyway, it's exciting to be back and working on writing and arranging songs. Kathryn Scott said she just didn't work on writing with the kids around. How she keeps herself from doing that is beyond me. I can't get enough. I find myself going to the piano every chance I can get. Yes, the kids are all around me wanting to play, wanting my attention. It is such a discipline to defer to them and put my other passion on hold. I guess it's a healthy challenge. Builds character. Still difficult though.

Josh is so ready to walk. He is cruising quite a bit now. Did I mention how adorable he is. He is a smiler. Hannah is a thinker. She has to process whether or not she should smile back at you or not. lol. They're so different.

I think I shall go and rest. It is finally quiet. Ah..........

I'm Back And Committed ~

I don't know what happened, but I fell off the face the earth. Sorry. Thankfully I didn't fall far. Okay so now what am I suppose to say. Well, I've been changing diapers, trying potty training every once and a while. Still waiting for Hannah to be ready because I AM NOT!! She's showed signs, but nothing serious yet.

Ya know, my kids are awesome. What a blessing. I still have those times of "please be quiet," "please play on your own for a second," "please GO TO SLEEP." lol However, those are few and far between. They are my little joys that I have to bless me everyday. Hannah has the sweetest disposition. She is very sensitive and pretty creative. We are also starting to share moments if you know what I mean. I can just look at her and we both start laughing at something so silly like what I said or baby Josh and we know it's just between us. Plus, who needs a workout video when you have a 2 1/2 year old running around non-stop. = ) Josh is my love bug. I probably give him 100 kisses a day. I can't help myself. He has his dad's kissable cheeks. He is starting to talk now. He isn't even 1. (he will be though pretty soon. Messy chocolate cake. Yea!!) He says "Austi" for our dog "Austin," "Mama or Mamie," "Dada," "Ana" for Hannah, "HEY!" with his hand stretched out, so cute, and I think he has learned the ever popular "no." He has the belliest laugh. I love it. He is ticklish everywhere, to my advantage. he he. And the best part right now is that Hannah and Josh totally love each other. Makes me have the itch to try for another one. YIKES!! I don't think so.

Yes, I am consumed with children at the moment, but that's okay. I am finding complete joy and contentment in this season of my life. God is also blessing me with time to work on songwriting. I came back from a weekend worship leader/songwriter's convention. I felt like I was at Disneyland on vacation. (Do I get out much, ah NO!) lol. It was great. I know now what my calling is and it is exciting!! I also know I have lots of work to do. So what am I doing trying to start a Children's Clothing Resale business on Ebay?????? Ug.

Oh, yes, my dearest, loveliest husband has allowed me to invest in some much needed writing tools. I can hardly contain my excitment!!!!!!!! And they are COOL writing tools not just a groovy notepad and awesome pen. YEA!

Ya know, I just want God to get ALL of the glory for this writing venture I'm on. I'm not a writer, but HE is. I hope He will help me to express what the Spirit is placing on my heart through songs and worship songs. What an awesome calling. I was challenged at the Summit to strengthen my relationship with God. There is no excuse. And why would we need one, HE IS AMAZING!

Well, my baby is fussing. Here is the "PLEASE GO TO SLEEP," faze. Let's hope.

To Remember ~

Little things I don't want to forget. Sorry to anyone who is reading my blog. I just haven't had more than a moment to write what's been going on. So this will have to do for now.

* The sun was going down and Hannah said, "Is the sun going to wake up China?"

* I just put Josh down at 6:30am and was going to catch some shut eye when Hannah came into our room quietly and said, "The sun woke me up."

* I caught her talking to herself saying, "Jesus was born in a beeeeg (big) tummy and then died on a cross..." I had to complete the story for her so that she knew he became alive again and now is in heaven. So cute.

* "I love my baby Joshy. Can Joshy come over here and play with me?"

* Josh is now saying, "Da doo" lol. He melts me everytime.

Good night. = )

Kiddie Pool~

I have been exhausted today. Seems like I am just not catching up on my sleep. However, even though I was dragging my kids made me smile, laugh actually! Hannah is just the cutest. We set up the pool on the driveway and put some toys in there. We have a crabapple tree and picked some yesterday so she had to put them in too. She started taking bites of each one of them. I asked her what they tasted like and she said "Sour cream." Oh, that was funny. Then she got me all wet so I began to kick up water onto her. She loved it. She would say "Get me again" and when I would she would laugh histerically and say it again. She would get out of the pool and each time move back a little bit and then a little bit more until I couldn't reach her and then she would run up to the edge of the pool and start over again. One other thing, she threw out the ball and as she went to get it she would say "so that Riley (neighbors dog) won't get it" She then started to do this routine over, and over, and over again. I finally had to devert her attention and get her thinking of something else. So funny. = ) Josh, all I have to do is make a funny face at time and he laughs and laughs. He has completely melted my heart.

Hannah's Words ~

Okay this will be short, but sweet. She has been asking, "What is sprinkling all about?" or "What is ankle all about?" So cute. "I don't think so" coming from her mother. Oh, there was one more I wanted to write about, but I lost it. When I remember I will document that one too. = ) She sure is a 2 year old these days. ALL day long she asks "Can I go in the car?" "I want to go in the car." "Can I go outside?" "I want to go outside." What is a mother to do? I want my little girl to be happy and content to be inside for awhile. Oh well. Okay time for bed. Good night......(i hope)

Hannah Went Potty!~

Sorry it's been so long. I didn't think anyone read this blog anymore. he he. Really quick I have to write and document a milestone in our baby girls life. She went poopie in the potty!!! I was changing her and she was due for a bowel movement so I asked if she wanted to go on the potty. She said "little potty." So we got it out and put it in the Living Room, let her run around without a diaper and got her dolly and dolly's potty to sit right beside her. Well, it was cute to see Hannah and dolly come and sit on their potty's and then go play and then come back to sit and then go play. I really didn't take it seriously until the phone rang. When I got up to answer it I saw it!! Her poopie!! It's grose to talk about it, but ALL the moms out there will celebrate with me. I didn't know what to do talking to a gal who was interested in my bedset for sale and praising Hannah for her accomplishment and taking the little "token" to the bathroom to wait until I got off the phone and then we could flush it down the toliet together. LOL. I finally had to tell the lady what happened and she laughed and we ended up talking alot about that!! lol. Anyway, congradulations Hannah. Mommy is SOOOOOOOOO proud of you!!

Now we all are home sick with colds. Nothing too serious though.

6:30am-Nice Day ~

A refreshing morning breeze is seeping through the open windows into our living room. Ah, so nice after yesterdays heat wave. It's just Josh and I, still very quiet. The sun is coming out and the trees are coming to life. I can almost taste summer. = )

I finally have one room in the house clean and organized. I think I believe in the whole Zen thing, cuz my head clears and I feel so much more at peace when I am in a clean room.

Today should be a fun day. Brian has another day off so we'll see what we decide to do. I know there will still be cleaning in the equation, but maybe we can get a walk in there somewhere. I also have my dance rehearsal tonight. We are getting ready for our performance. he he. It has been such a great outlet for me since Josh has been born. When it's over I am going to look for a gym to join or something.

Anyway, I didn't want to say much, just document a peaceful moment in this crazy non-stop life of mine.

Happy Mother's Day ~

My friend Leslie inspired me to also wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day. Most of the time I only think of my mother to call or connect with on Mother's Day, but Leslie extended it to all the mother's in her life. It was really sweet.

I would never trade in a million years the time I have spent being a mother. My son Josh finally fell alseep in my arms this evening while I was rocking him in his room. Instead of putting him down right away and going to get ready for church in the morning, I was content to sit there enjoying the peaceful time I had with him. It hit me that he was going to grow up like Hannah and these moments were precious.

Us moms know our kids more than anyone. Brian is wonderful with our children. They adore him, but I have to say there is a special bond I have with Hannah and Josh that can only be felt by us alone. It is awesome.

So to any mom reading this blog. I give you my love. You love your children like no other. And I know that delights the Lord so much. Have a wonderful day tomorrow. I hope you will feel honored and special because you are. = )

My Daughter is not Sleeping ~

Just recently Hannah has decided that she is not tired when I say she is tired and needs a nap. Am I seeing the signs all wrong? She goes to bed late, wakes up early, and whines around the house with her blankey, rubbing her eyes. Is she tired? I think so. So I put her down in her room and she plays with her toys for a half hour, then knocks on the door saying 'Hannah's not tired mommy,' and finally after over an hour she is quite. I think sleeping. Am I being a bad mom letting her stay in her room til she finally goes to sleep. Or should I just let her get up when she wants and wait til she practically asks to go have her nap? What is a mother to do?

The kids haven't had a regular schedule for a while because of sickness and late nights out. I am questioning myself, should I stay home more often and stick to a regular routine? Or should I live my life the way I would normally and have my kids conform and adapt?

Ah, the peace. I am glad Hannah is sleeping. She really needed it. I just wish it wouldn't take over an hour. Oh well.

Gotta get back to cleaning. = )

New Post ~

I am stairing at my computer, clicking buttons, looking at things that are blurry since my glasses are in the room where my wonderful husband is sleeping, and flat out tired. My kids are awake and thankfully acting beautifully thus far. We have all been struggling with colds, passing them back and forth to one another. The kids and I aren't sleeping very well because it's been hard for us to breathe through our noses. I feel bad for those two. They have been going to bed at 7:00p and 9:00p. josh woke up 4 times in the night. Hannah woke up at 5:30am because she couldn't breathe. Fun stuff happening over here.

I decided when this all happened that we would still live our lives and go do stuff because hey it was just a cold, but I am thinking it probably would have been wiser to stay indoors for a couple of days and try to recoupe.

Such is life. Thankfully the house is all painted and is starting to look like a nice place to stay in awhile. Before we had white walls. I always felt unsettled and frusterated to stay inside. Now it is nice to stay home for more than a day at a time. lol.

Okay, Hannah wants me to change dolly's diaper and Josh is done playing with his hanging bears so I'd better go. = )

So I Don't Forget ~

I wanted to have some quality time here at the computer to jot down some great stories of my two little ones, but it seems like I just never have enough time to do so. This little time that I have is really ment for my household chores. BORING! Oh well, hope this will make sense. I have to document these things before they escape my memory forever.

Hannah has been talking up a storm lately. It is pretty amazing. Even though she is a very bright little girl, she still is very innocent about things around her. We went to the coast with Brian's sisters a couple weeks back and when Hannah saw the ocean she was so suprised. She said, "Look Mama, a bath, a bath tub." It was really the cutest thing. How she made that correlation I will never know. We took her down to see it and the waves were coming pretty quickly that is scared her too much. Maybe next year.

Um...I caught her and Josh in the back seat of the car holding hands. Today we were playing in her room and she wanted me to go "night night" in her bed. So I played along and layed down. She said she wanted to "tuck me in" so she did and she gave me her favorite blanket. She said, "have a night night nap mom, close your eyes, good dreams." I closed my eyes and then opened them a minute later. She came back and said, "go to sleep, go see horses when wake up." (I sometimes coax her to sleep with fun things to do when she wakes up) Then I asked her if she would pray ,she said, "Dear Jesus, give mommy good sleep, amen." What a sweetheart she is.

Okay, I better go now. Josh is crying with Brian so I just don't know how long I actually have to clean the house. = )

Easter ~

Happy Easter Everyone!

I've really tried to get involved this easter season. Brian and I tried Lent. We did well for a couple of weeks then oops we gave in. I never did Lent before so I wasn't really committed to it. I knew God loved me even though I didn't observe Lent. I did respect the consept. It made me focus on why I was taking out something that was important to me. I focused more on my relationship with God. I respect the idea of fasting more now too. I sang a lead role in the oratorio Saviour last week which really got my heart in the right place. And today I am a part of worship. So I think I am ready. = )

Thank you Lord for your Son, Jesus Christ. I am so humbled and honored to be saved by his grace and mercy. May you be worshiped and honored today. Love you.

A Shower Would Be Good ~

I am definitely going to take a shower before I go to my moms group this morning. What a joy that will be! Guess what!!! Josh slept for 9 1/2 hours straight last night. YEA!! The night before he had a 5 hour stretch from 7:00-12:00a then we woke up every hour. So I asked God to help me get the sleep I needed to keep up with these kids. I asked for His faithfulness. Awesome eh? I know it was Him.

About Hannah's kitchen, she loves it. She asks "mom come room" pointing to her room "come play house." So cute. She also was very huggy yesterday without me asking for one. he he. I am starting to notice that I melt way too easily these days.

Lastly, my husband and I took these Myres Brigg personality tests two days ago. I came out to be an ENFP, he was an INTJ. Quite different. He had a handful of president's that had his personality and I, well let's just say Dr. Suess made the cut on my end. LOL. And that's okay with me. = )

Giggles are the BEST! ~

I needed to write this post before I went to bed because today marked the first time Joshua full out giggled. It was the cutest ever. He was in his bouncer and Hannah was eating dinner in her high chair. I was playing with him, trying to get him to smile and I guess I did something that suprised him and he laughed a hardy laugh. I just melted. His laugh was very simular to Hannah's when she started, but it also sounded like a boys laugh. I can't explain it any better than that. He's already got my heart, but this just was the icing on the cake. I called Brian right away to see if he could hear him over the phone. He did. = ) Hannah didn't start laughing til she was 5-6 months old! Josh is starting young. = )

I also found a play kitchen for Hannah's birthday on craigslist. We were going to go take a look at it this afternoon, but the weather wasn't the best so we decided to hold off til' tomorrow. Hopefully the roads won't be too bad. I am really excited about it.

Love My Kids Day ~

Some days I look at my kids and just want the day to end so we can start over with a brand new day. = ) But there are other days when the weight of the world fades, time stands still, and I am consumed with love for my children. Today was one of those days.

Hannah was so cute. She always is, but we had fun together just hanging out. I never realized I could laugh hysterically the way I would with my best friend with my baby daughter who isn't even 2 yet!! She also has a silly, sarcastic sense of humor like I do. For example, she would see a dog in a book and I would say 'oh is that a duck?' and she would look at me and laugh, shaking her head and say 'No.' Oh forget it. You had to be there. Anyway, there are some other things that probably wouldn't translate, however I want to include them for documentary sake.

Like the way she'd ask me to blow a 'big bubble.' Her expression was just so adorable. She also likes to say 'uppies on the bed, uppies on leg, uppies on mom, uppies on crib, uppies on chair', you get the idea. She was "helping" me make pizza dough this afternoon (almost choked on a handful of flour!) and I gave her a couple of gummy bears for a treat. She, for whatever reason, now calls them 'gummyaches.' Don't ask me how she got that. It was soooo cute though. I can't bring myself to correct her. It is just too much fun to listen to. When Josh is crying and I am in the other room, she will say to him "It's okay Josh, you're alright. Ahhh, It's okay." She is starting to want to help me around the house with little cleaning projects. Today she learned how to jump on the bed for the first time. She has always been more of a verbal child than active. So now she is really trying to jump up and down. It seems to help when she is on the bed. A couple of times she has tried to jump on the floor and has landed on her bumb. How do us as parents stop from laughing when these funny things happen to our children. I hope I don't end up giving her a complex.

Josh loves to be kissed by his mouth. He loves to be tickled. He is already reaching for my plate when we're eating at the table. He kicks and bounces a lot in his bouncy chair. He loves to cuddle with his mommy. He is starting to hold his head up. Still a bit wobbly, but getting better. I have to say that since I've had Josh I love being home more with the two of them. Don't get me wrong, they definitely can be a handful, but they also can fill my days with joy and fun.

On days like today Hannah and Josh make me want to have more.!?!@?! Crazy, but cool.

Hello again

So much has been happening since Josh has come into our lives. I have to pick and choose what things are important to get done during my few and far between hours to myself. It is either sleep, do the chores, or get out of the house for some peace and quiet. I really want to start writing again, but it has been really dificult to find quality time to. For instance, Hannah is having quiet time in her crib because she was not minding me and I couldn't deal with it any longer. Josh is in his bouncy chair just crying at me. It's been one of those days. Brian doesn't get home for another hour or so. Will I make it? I hope so. Maybe Oprah has something great to watch. lol. Anyway, I wanted to vent for a sec. What do you do when your nerves are shot and you just want to get away and chill your brain for at least a couple of hours? Right now I have no idea? I will try to write again some positive wonderful things that are happening even though it might not sound like it right now. = )

Baby Boy !!!

He is finally here. His name is Joshua. He was born Sunday November 27th and weighed 8lbs. 6oz. He is soooo handsome. I completely fell in love with him the moment he was placed on my chest. What an awesome day that was. Plus, my parents were there to witness his birth. They were suppose to leave that morning, but decided to wait out my labor since it was almost 24 hours long. = )

My water broke at 7:30pm. Everyone was sitting there pretty much watching me go through each contraction. My dad couldn't handle it. Poor guy I don't blame him. Brian was frantic and in his own world trying to get everything ready to go to the hospital. We got there and checked in and my contractions sped up to one every 2-4 minutes. They needed my signature for paperwork and to ask me all the questions they asked me when we PRE-REGISTERED!!!! I was soo mad. I was IN LABOR!! HELLO!! Thankfully I had my mom and Brian there to calm me down and hold me back from exploding. he he. Finally they took me to the delivery room were it took me only on hour and a half to deliver him. They weren't expecting me to be ready so quickly. When I got there I was already 6-7 cm dialated. When the doctor came in he was going to check back with me in an hour to see if I would be ready to push. I asked him what that would feel like and he told me. I said I think I feel that way NOW! He checked and I had fully dialated and was ready to push him out. I have to confess I did buckle down and get the epideral at the last minute. I was so afraid that I would scream my head off and say not so nice things if I didn't. It didn't take the whole way cuz of the speed of delivery so I was able to feel the pain and pressure of pushing.

It was such an awesome and painful experience. I swear, when they took me up to the recovery room I had already forgotten about the pain. With Hannah, ah I didn't forget for a LONG time. But with him it was a distant memory. Well worth the effort. Funny huh?

Well, I need to go and feed the little guy. Brian and Hannah are out runny errands. God has just blessed us abundantly. I'll have to tell you how much I saw his faithfulness and love during this whole thing next time. It is amazing!

Just the Three of Us ~

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. What a day this will be. For most of us it will be filled with family, friends, comotion, food, food, food, games, (are there football games on?), and a time around the table to give thanks. For others it might be just a time of reflection, of peace from the normal everyday grind. Whatever it will turn out to be, it will be wonderful. There is so much to be thankful for. God is extremely faithful. I want to make sure that I remember Him today.

No baby yet. = ) I had false labor Monday and Tuesday, but by Weds. it all stopped. I have been feeling like I am only 6 months along again. I went to my doctor's appt. and found out that none of that work did anything to change my progress. I prayed 'please Lord let me have this baby before my parents get here so that they could be a part of this special time.' So I have to be honest it has been difficult not getting discouraged about it. I've tried walking up and down Cosco and my neighborhood, bouncing on my exercise ball, doing chores around the house, cooking a roast, playing with Hannah, eating spicy food. I don't think there is much more I can do at this point. lol. It's so silly how the last days are just up and down with emotions and anxiety and signs of possible labor.

I have a friend who has helped me focus on the positives of this Thanksgiving holiday that has been such a blessing for me because it is easy to slip into an oh poor me attitude right now. She said this might be a good time for us as a threesome to enjoy eachother for the last time before we become four. It's true. Hannah will get lots of attention from her grandparents, Brian and I might catch a movie for a last date night lol, I might be able to go out shopping with my mom and have hang time. Just have time to appreciate the little things and hide them in my heart when I will be up with Mr. boy in the middle of the night for the next six months or so. (See if I put it that way it doesn't seem like such a bad deal does it?) Plus, my mom is going to be making her turkey dinner for us. It will be heavenly.

Well, I hope that you have a wonderful long weekend with the ones you love and if you are feeling alone this Thanksgiving remember this could be a great time to spend with God and dwell on His love and comfort. There will always be seasons in our lives, but God is always in them all. We are never alone.

I'm Up, I'm Up, I'm Up!! ~

Okay it is 2:45am in the morning and I can't get to sleep. I went to bed at 9:00pm and now I'm up. Yesterday, I had another downer day. Talked to my dad about it and he suggested I read Phil chapter 4 and dwell on it this week. So here is what I am dwelling on thus far: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything present your requests to God and you will find peace through Christ Jesus."

This is a tough thing to do. I have been anxious about EVERYTHING lately. It's been about me quite a bit this week. So this verse is good for me right now. I have to remember that I can find peace and pure joy in Christ Jesus if I look for it in his word and in spending time with him. I love knowing we are not alone. That the God of the universe cares about every little detail of our lives and comforts us through his presence and promises.

I have my doctor's appt. today in the morning. I hope I've progressed more. I am wanting to stay home more. My stomach is so heavy and sore. Whenever I walk I ache alot. I've had a hard time not being able to pick up Hannah. She is my baby. However, I do find that when I do I pay for it with pain in my back. Oh well, like I said she is my baby. I can't help it.

I found a journal insert from April 2nd, 04' the night I started going into labor with Hannah. It was very insightful and encouraged me that I was at the end now. I was very exhausted and extremely hungry. lol. My contractions were getting very uncomfortable. I really, really hope he comes in a couple of days. I don't know how much longer I can carry him around and still be productive. He is a heavier baby than Hannah I am pretty sure about that.

Anyway, I think that is all for now. I might surf the web for a bit more and hopefully go back to sleep for pete sake.

I Am So Tired ~

Was it just me or were there others who had the case of the moodies? I knew today would be a long day because Brian works til 9:00p at night, but I was tired, bored, couldn't think straight. There were so many things I could have found myself doing, but didn't want to do any of them. My poor daughter must have been extremely bored. We do a lot of lounging and cuddling these days. = )

I had Brian come home for a couple of hours so I could take a nap. Hannah had a good one, but I couldn't go to sleep because of the acid reflux that was disturbing things. I feel like I am such a downer today.

Thankfully, I put Hannah down for bed (she is still awake talking to herself!?!) and now I think I will have that wonderful shower I have been hoping for all day. lol. I hate taking showers, but it's amazing how much better you feel afterwards. It's always a mind over matter thing for me. lol.

Okay, I've vented a bit, feel a little better. Thanks for listening. = )

Not as Big as I Thought ~

I had my doctor's check up and I was almost positive that I had gained 8 pounds since the last visit. Last night I felt like I was carrying a ball n' chain in my tummy! For sure, I MUST be 160 lbs. I stepped on the scale and I LOST a pound. OH BROTHER. I was 150 lbs. So I guess I have an "over-exaggerating" problem. lol.

Anyway, baby and mommy are healthy and still waiting for the big day. It is getting closer and closer. The evenings are the toughest for me. I am tired and achy. My lower back hurts most of the time, especially when I walk. I think to myself, 'how long will I be able to carry all of this weight before I go insane?' I know, when he comes I will be carrying the weight still, but my arms have been getting a great toning work-out with Hannah, however my stomach, well it was just getting over the last baby.

I had a "nesting" episode yesterday with Brian. I told him we had to rearrange the living room furniture, get the baby's room ready with the bassenet up, fold laundry, prepare the guest bed just in case, pack the suitcase, and make sure the kitchen is clean. We did it and now I feel good about things. The last thing on the list is put the carseat in the car. I know Brian will get this done soon or else he'll have to come back home and do it when I am in the hospital. He is really putting up with a lot. A lot of emotions and fatigue. Must be difficult for him. Thankfully it will almost be over and then on to the next faze of sleepless nights and ongoing crying. lol.

There really are joys that go a long with parenting. We took Hannah to ride the carasel at the park and then played in the playground together as a family. Brian brought the camera. It was cold in the 40's, but the sun was shining and we were all together. I loved it!

Well, time to go chill in bed, watch tv, read, go to sleep. = )

The Last Month ~

I am almost onto my 37th week of pregnancy. Two days ago I had some false labor contractions and prelabor symptoms. The contractions were crampy and I had three in an hour. I was kinda nervous. Was this the beginning? Nope. They let up. After calling the nurse and getting anxious I just decided to forget about the contractions until they start to get more frequent and more painful. It's not like I don't know what that feels like. But I have to say that this pregnancy has been different then Hannah's. Everything seemed to happen and progress much quicker. I don't remember having contractions til 2 weeks before she came. They weren't crampy or sore until I was in labor.

These warning signs, however, have really gotten me motivated to finish last minute things before he comes. I wrote a list of 10 things I wanted to have done before he was born. I showed them to Brian and asked him to help me. He is a sweetheart. And a task oriented person thank goodness.

One of my friends offered to take Hannah for a couple of hours today so that I could get some stuff done. It was great of her to just offer because knowing me I probably wouldn't have asked anyone. So I've decided to try to finish painting Hannah's room. I left the walls white, but started painting flowers and butterflies a while ago. I know exactly what I want to acomplish. She has a Winnie the Pooh and Piglet on her wall too. She needs a border and some finishing touches like a tree in the closet and a little more flowers and then I will be done. So I'm really looking forward to doing that.

I was thinking I would have Brian paint the boy's room a toupe color to make it a bit warmer and then excesserize (spelling, hmmm) with a choo, choo theme. I also told Brian I needed the upstairs to be painted so that we didn't need to deal with the fumes when baby came. Poor Brian so many projects in such little time. He is a good sport though. I thought the nesting thing only happened with the first baby, but not in my case.

Hannah is down for her nap so I thought I would write a little today. I am really on a day by day basis. The baby could come today or past the due date. It is just a mystery. I am soooooo hoping he'll come before my parents get here for Thanksgiving. Wouldn't that be great!!

I'll try to write again, but who knows maybe the next time will be with a newborn in my arms!!

Ok, I Gotta Say ~

That I can't promise to write as much anymore, like I want to. It is just getting too close to "D" day and my body is just wearing down. Last weekend I went to the hospital to be monitored cuz' I had some questionable pains in my abdomen I had never felt before. They started when I was making pizza in the kitchen. Then I laid down on the couch for a bit and when I wanted to get up it was all I could do to roll off the couch. I stayed on all fours for a couple minutes, not moving because I was in pain. It kinda scared me so I called Brian to come home and give me a break so I could rest and he wanted me to get some advice from the doctor. They said to come in.

Thankfully (I think, lol) I wasn't having contractions. I just pulled some ligaments due to stretching and pulling of the uterus. I was a little disappointed that my son wasn't planning to come sooner rather than on time, but I now know to call the doctor when the contractions are realling starting or my water breaks. So relax, relax I say. mmm...

Last night I couldn't keep from falling asleep at 8:00p and getting up at 7:00am, feeling like i could have gone another hour or two. I also had an hour/half nap in the day. Crazy huh? Tonight is the same. I completely wore out after dinner. My left hip is sore and achy, my heart feels like it is racing and I am on my way to go "night, night." All I can say is that my time is very limiting right now. Wierd.

Hannah is doing good. She is a wonderful, beautiful, unreasonable little toddler. I feel like I am a 24 hour a day teacher and guidance counselor. No wonder I am worn out by days end. She has been teething and also getting over a cold. She had her 18 month check up and she's doing fine. They told us all of the shots she would need to take. Some of the risks to them are kinda scary, like the flu shot having mercury corrolates to autism, Chickenpox vaccine has a slim chance of causing seizures and maybe even death??? Did we ever have to take a vaccine for chickenpox? I thought our parents wanted us to get it young so that we would be immune to it as adults. huh. Anyway, very interesting.

Well, til' next time. I'm off to bed.

"Naps" ~

My daughter has started attaching herself to her "naps" blankies and wants to take them everywhere. It is the cutest thing. She doesn't want to call them blankets only naps. I have finally given in and started calling them this and her regular naps "night night naps." It works for her.

I have lots of housework to do today before our study guests arrive. Those bathrooms, when will I find the time to clean those??? If you have any suggestions or advice with a toddler wanting to be whereever you are, please let me know.

I have started to feel very soar and some pressure already and I am only 7 months along. Is this normal? I am going to call the nurse again to get a second opinion. It's been going on for about a week now.

Well, have a good day. I think we will too. = )

Hurry, Hurry ~

Okay, Hannah is eating her snack right now so maybe I will have some time to write something before she comes over...AH she is right here!!!! Oh know. Just kidding.

I was soooo tired last night. I went to sleep at 9:00 and didn't get out of bed until 7:00am. 10 HOURS!!! Awesome!

Brian is off to work. I've saved my chores for today and tomorrow so I will have stuff to keep myself preoccupied. I am really believing that to be true. Let's see if I follow through and self motivate myself. = )

We are teaching a bible study tomorrow. I am really looking forward to it. There will be four young couples here at our house. We will be going through the "40 Days of Community" by Rick Warren. Should be fun. I love having people over and getting a chance to connect. It is so much fun for me.

Today looks like it will be nice. I think Hannah and I will run a couple of errands before the day is through. Maybe I will leave the stroller at home and let her walk. Nope. Not ready. Maybe I will leave the stroller at home and let her walk to the mailbox with me and back. Yep I think I can handle that adventure.

Well til next time.

Where does the time go! ~

Okay, I am working up to posting something everyday. = ) I am sitting here shopping online. Ebay, craigslist, amazon, the web, I need to go get some ice cream and chill my brain. Today I feel like we have tons of money to spend. However, deep down I know the truth, I'm just denying it right now. I've also been into garage saling. I've found some fun toys for Hannah that were cheep, cheep, cheep. That is the best.

Hannah and I went for a drive to pick up a used double stroller. It was such a nice day to get out. It is in good condition and for $50.00 how could you go wrong?

Baby is kicking now. This is his time when he pretends he is able to run and jump and kick already. Should I really give him ice cream right now? hmmm... But it sounds sooo good with fudge toping. You know what I am going to choose to do right? he he.

No Topic ~

There has been so much to write about that I've just felt overwhelmed by it all. When the evening comes around I am pretty run down and so to write what's on my mind (which is always a lot lol ) looks like a daunting task. So my goal is to each day write a little summary of what went on and call it a day. = )

I am only two months away from having this baby. It's crazy. He is now starting to become a part of my life. Before I knew he was inside me, growing, but I just went on like everything was still the same as usual. Now I am 20 pounds over weight, waking up three times a night, hot as can be. He does summersults in my tummy whenever I am resting lol, I can't see my toes, when I bend down I stay down usually to get some momentum to get back up. lol. It feels like it is coming to the end now. I am excited I think and believe it or not a bit scared. You would think I would be ready to face the pain and work of labor, but I'm not. I can't believe I am putting myself through this again. It is becoming a reality more and more.

We are thinking of getting his room started soon. Have a choo choo theme picked out. It will be cute. We have already received so many awesome clothes for our little guy, I think he's all set to go. So happy about that! We are very blessed to be apart of such a great "family" of friends at our church. So blessed.

Hannah is growing and growing. I love to listen to her talk. Brian showed her how to jump the other day so she practices a lot and can now jump a half an inch in the air. She feels so proud. She has taken yogurt and rubbed it in as sunscreen lotion on her hands, arms and face. = ) She loves to read anything with writing on it in her own language. I wouldn't be surprised if she becomes a public speaker on day. We play nose kisses and just make up our own fun most of the time. I am really starting to enjoy being around her. When I let go of stress and anxiety of being the best mom and let the day play out we both relax and just have fun. On the other side of things we are dealing with hitting when mad or frusterated, screeming, and grabbing things out of our hands without saying please oh and standing up on things. Time outs have become a reality. I still can't tell if they are working, but I'm sticking to them.

Brian is doing well. Caught a cold last week and it is still lingering a bit. He rarely gets colds. He is getting excited about doing little projects around the house. He is very handy and gifted. I can't wait to see what he does. We are wanting to really focus on our family time together. I'm glad. We always enjoy being together (for the most part lol )

Well, I could go on and on and on, but I must stop. Goodnight.

I'm Back!

Hey it's been awhile. = ) I heard that there are actually people out there who are reading this. How exciting! I do apologize for taking some time off. I got lazy there and wanted to watch tv, browse the web, or sleep with the little time to myself that I've had. It finally clicked a couple of days ago that I was really wasting away my time. I don't know about you, but I get in these moods where I boycout things that I love to do, but take to much effort. How dumb.

Anyways, enough about me. Hannah has just been growing and maturing right before my very eyes. She graduated today to the 18 to 2 1/2 year old room from being in the nursery. She was a little, big girl now. I almost cried. lol. She was playing with a play kitchen and crib with baby dolls, having the greatest time. I went in to check on her, but she really didn't need me. She was having fun with her friends. lol. During one of our breakfasts last week she did the most adorable thing ever! I was feeding her yogurt and she thought it looked like sunscreen lotion so she put some on her hands, arms and face and rubbed it in so delicately. It was the cutest! How could I tell her that we eat yogurt not nurture our skin with it. = )

Tonight before bedtime I was getting ready to put her jammies on and she took my arms to get my attention, looked me in the eyes and gave me a kiss. I totally melted. Usually I ask for one and either she says "no" or she'll give me a quick one. The joys of being a mother, eh?

What words is she coming up with now? So many. She has over 50 words in her vocabulary now. Let's see: horse, all gone, open, she says "bye, bye brush" when she's done brushing her teeth, she says, "bye, bye" to her specific toys or things that she is leaving, shoes, Austi for our dog Austin, apple, orange, beep for grape, nana for banana, bark for fork, spoo for spoon, bow for bowl, dance for music and dancing, cars, trucks, plane, rain, ish for fish, crackers, aisens for raisens, crayons, gaw for draw, pen, yes, elp for help, mommy, daddy, night-night, nap for her blanket. She is also starting to put words together to tell us what she wants like: Austi, go, ball, down, for "Can we go play ball with Austin downstairs?" (I'm using this space to document all these things. Sorry if it is boring. = ) )

Hannah's personality and character is just coming out so much these days. She is definitely a joy to be with.

The other little one in my tummy is kicking most of the time. He rolls and jerks my stomach way more than Hannah ever did. I am already starting to feel the braxton hicks. Everything seems to be happening much earlier than I remembered it. I am due November 27th. I'm hoping he'll come early so my parents will be in town. I registered at the Baby Depot the other day cuz' a friend suggested it. Oh my gosh I didn't realize I hadn't even thought about a theme for his room. So I had so much fun looking at all of the bedding. TOO CUTE~

Hmmm...what else. Well we are pretty busy this month. The summer flew by and now it is on to fall. Amazing. I am actually looking forward to cooler weather. I was beginning to think I would melt away in those 90 degree days we had.

So onto another week. I'll write again sooner rather than later. Too many fun things to talk about these days. Goodnight~

We're Off ~

We are getting ready to go camping tomorrow, just the three of us and the dog. It is a much needed break to get away with just the family. We will be staying on the lake. I bought a so called maternity swim suit or should I say a large two piece. = ) I am so exited. I really want to swim and be in the water with Hannah.

I am enjoying the pregnancy right now. Baby is kicking a lot and I have a hearty appetite, mmmm......... I love this stage. I also don't have to sleep as much so I feel more productive.

Next week we'll be getting ready to go up to see my parents for a couple of weeks. Now I am excited about summer! Summer is suppose to be all about vacations, right?

Well, hope you are enjoying yours. = )

Peaches ~

Yum, peaches~ I am eating sliced peaches with ice cream..um...I mean I just ate peaches with ice cream. lol. They went by quick. This pregnancy I've been craving fruit, lots and lots of fruit. Peaches are on the top of the list. I used to be a veggie gal. I have changed my ways. = )

Summer is here and is beautiful. Brian, Hannah and I went to a nice park, played in the water and with tons of rocks. It was so nice to be together. Sometimes it is really easy for us to be focused on work, daily routines, etc that we forget to have fun.

The baby is kicking more and more. I am getting more and more fat! It feels like that anyway. I look cute in some clothes, but in others I look like a whale with a tiny head. lol. I tried telling Hannah about her baby ________ and pointed to my belly then she pointed to her belly to say that __ was in there. It was cute.

She has been very loving and needing my affection lately. She is starting to put two words together. Not a lot. Like "bye bye wa, wa" or "dada go" I find the more quality time I give her, the less screaming she voices. Go figure. I definitely have lost some MORE screws up top. I'm not at the place, though, where I am identifying with the blond jokes yet. Thank goodness.

I know it has been 10 days since I last wrote. I find it hard to write with dial-up as well as always needing to catch up on my sleep. My free time is very limited. It is split up between my husband, my daughter and now another baby. When I do find those times for myself I try to drink it all in.

Well, til next time. I hope everyone is having a good summer. Hey a note, I found out that taking a cold shower and sleeping infront of a fan does wonders to cool a pregrant person down in 90 degree weather. Just thought I would let you know. = )

Sunday ~

Well another week has gone by. Quite a few things have happened this past week that have made my emotions feel like they've been on a rollercoaster ride. Weird...

We celebrated the Fourth of July at a wonderful friend's home. They invited us to be apart of their family and made us feel very welcome. They had a panoramic view of the valley. We watched 3 to 4 different firework presentations. It was relaxing and beautiful.

Then to hear about the London bombings a couple of days later was such a contrast. My heart went from content and peaceful to perplexed and heavy. Another terrible act of hatred was displayed.

From there our little family went to the doctor's office for my checkup and ultrasound. Guess what we found out??? lol.

When we got back home my brother called from his cell asking what our exit was because they were on their way to visit. I was excited, but also wasn't ready since I thought they would show up at mid-night or the next day. They didn't care and I was able to clean up the place before too long. My nephews were the cutest. Hannah liked the company, however let them know when they were crossing her boundaries. That was funny. They stayed the night and the next day we went to the park and to lunch. After they had said their goodbyes I was so sad to see them go. There just isn't anything like family. I don't know what it is, but a deep connection and hopefully a trust that has been built over the years makes it uniquely special.

Brian and I then finished the first season of "24." I had to stay up past my bedtime to watch it. That show really pulls you in. It's amazing.

Lastly, today was church. After all of the highs and lows of this past week I found myself coming back to my constant relationship with God. No matter what happens around me or to me he never changes. His promises never change. I can count on his peace, love, and faithfulness. He has proven himself over and over again through so many things. This week I asked for peace and my heart felt peace. I asked for His comfort and my heart felt comforted. I asked for his faithfulness and he proved himself faithful. Hey, I am no saint. I forget this often and find myself farther away from him then I'd like. That is why this hit me so hard. I realized my relationship with Him was the number one most important thing in my life. I can always run to Him and give all of my emotions to him and feel peace. It was so nice to remember this today. = )

July 2nd ~

Today was my birthday. = ) Another day older, more mature and more adult. However, all of that faded into the background when my husband and I went to the city and had a date night. It was like we were newly married again and on another little adventure, discovering new things as a couple in love. We did talk about the kids, but they weren't the focus. The focus was us. I think it was a good reminder of how much we loved eachother and enjoyed eachother's company. Hannah was safe and well taken care of. I didn't need to worry at all. I really felt special today. So to be 28 is really not so bad when you spend it with the people you love who love and care about you, who know how to make you feel like you are important and cherished.

I Get Lost In The Wind ~

The steady breeze is blowing through the windows escaping down the hallway. When I feel the touch of the wind I get caught in a trance. Does that ever happen to you? It reminds me to stop and breathe. It speaks calmness into my soul and for a moment I feel like this day is going to be manageable. It whispers all of the positives that have happened during the day, reminding me to look up and get out of the slump I'm in. You can probably tell I am pretty meloncholy at times. = ) I'm telling you I find that when I am pregnant my moods exaggerate. I'm either so high on life or I'm blue and can find a million things why. This blog is not ment to be a downer. I promise there have been some wonderful times this past week that I will share. It's just I love having a place to lay my thoughts down. I need a place to be honest and real; a place to be me. Thank you.

Being at home full time has had it's ups and downs. For the most part I wouldn't change a thing. However, there are times when I feel like I am the lead character on "Groundhog Day." That is such a disturbing movie for me. Brian loves that movie. It's one of his faves. For me it makes me cringe because to do the same things over and over again is torcherous. I try to live freely with Hannah doing different things during the day, planning it as it comes. But for the most part we are managed by her sleep and eating schedules. She is such a happier baby when she goes to sleep at regular intervals throughout the day and I am much more sane, but also much more bored. I either sleep when she sleeps or try to figure out what I could do for me that would be fun.

I got hooked on the first season of 24 when Brian rented it out. I feel for any of you who had to watch only one episode at a time waiting what might have seemed an eternity til the next one. My heart is with you. We have been staying up watching like 3 or 4 episodes a night. It's a soap opera in a way, but much more intense. = ) So this has been a fun way to escape from the regular routine. I also decided to focus on the backyard, prunning and weeding. I have to be careful with my pregnancy and allergies, but Hannah plays in her playpen and I am one with nature. I'm also trying slowly to get back on the piano. I know I need to do it. I love it when I start, but it is such a struggle to get on that bench. I'm such a perfectionist and when I make too many mistakes for my liking I quit and don't want to try again. Silly huh?

We've spent some great evenings together as a family lately. Brian adores Hannah. He chases her around the house and she tries to get to "mama" because she knows "mama" will keep her safe. lol. She loves to scream for attention more and more. The books say to ignore it til this faze ends or whisper back so she can see your mouth move, but can't hear what you are saying or say 'use your inside voice' and deter her attention to something else. We're trying. Her new words are: "on", "out", "bye bye", "ovv" for off, and "bubba" for bubble, and "baba" for baby. It has been so fun to talk to her. That's our biggest thing I guess.

So the wind has subsided and I must get ready for bed. = ) I want to spend some much needed quite time with the Lord. So goodnight.

One more thing as a side note to my Aunty Mel. Please send me your email address. I would love to write back to you more. Love ya!

Hmmm...A Title ~

I could put down allergies or exhaustion again for my title, but I will spare you. lol.

Hannah and I did go to a park with some other moms for the morning. We had a nice time. The weather was suppose to be very warm, however when we got to the park the wind chill factor was like 40 degrees. = ) It was nice and sunny there. I was able to connect with some friends I haven't seen in a while.

I think Hannah is probably too young yet to really appreciate the park. She liked the swing for 5 mins and then wanted up. She slid down the slide a couple of times, but I didn't really see any excitement in her facial expression. She did, however enjoy eating the bark off the ground. She thought that was pretty funny since I kept on throwing them away and saying, 'Yuk Hannah.' What ever happened to sand? I just haven't found a sandbox she can play in yet.

I'm telling you that little outing to the park wore me out. I slept for two hours with Hannah and still had to sit on the couch like a zombie till Brian got home. He has encouraged me that I was the same way with Hannah. That makes me feel a little more normal. I've felt the baby kick a bit the past couple of days. I go in to find out what it is July 8th. We'll see. We don't really care either way. We're pretty casual about the whole thing.

Till next time. It is almost my bedtime. lol.

Costco ~

I had a nightmarish thing that happened to me at Costco the other day I thought I would share. Hannah and I had been in the house for about two straight days so I wanted to bring her along with me to Costco to give her another perspective on life. We got there, found my card, strapped her in, had my grocery list, and started loading up the cart. I was very proud of myself because I didn't stop to browse or pick up things I wanted that weren't on the list. It was a quick trip and got everything we needed. Hannah was a dream baby, just looking at everyone and everything, drinking it all in.

When we got to the register the cashier found something wrong with my card and had a gal go check it out. Hannah was on the other side of the register in the cart which made me a little nervous. The gal took about 10 mins to get back. She said that my card had expired and that I needed to get a new one before they could ring me up. I asked how this could be that I was using it for 9 months and it was fine. She said that our old church discontinued our membership the 28th of last month. I was frusterated because there was a line of people right behind us, Hannah wasn't in my arms, I did not get a notice in the mail about the change. The gal said to go to the membership area and ask if our new church has signed us up yet. I said why would they do that if our old card was working for months?

In my frusteration I took Hannah, they put my cart to the side and went to see the gal at membership. They looked up our info and found nothing. Hannah decided then to jerk and want down. I out of my embarrassment and frusteration shook her a little to get her attention to stop. I felt like one of those moms that you see in store making a scene with her child. I then started to cry, not knowing what to do. I had our dinner in the cart.

I went back to the register, told the girl they couldn't find anything. I said I don't understand how Costco could not have any flexibility with customer's that have been faithful for years? All she could say was sorry. I asked her if I could speak to a manager. I thought I would need to call later when I got back home, but she found one right away. I sat at the tables with Hannah in my arms with tears streaming down my face. I asked him how Costco couldn't look at these situations case by case. That our card has worked for four years. That when you go to Costco you more then likely fill your cart to the rim. And how embarrassing it is to get to the register at be told you can't buy anything you had just because of a exp. that happened days ago. I couldn't believe how much I was crying. He asked me how I was going to pay for it, I told him with cash. So he overrided the system for me and let me get through this one time. I was so thankful and so embarrassed. I was not out to get Costco in anyway and this whole episode took about 20 mins.

The reason why I am telling you all of this it to maybe offer some advice, some encouragement. I learned to always talk to the manager before you take no for an answer. Also, even though I love my little daughter I learned I will not take her on those kinds of outings again. = )

I need to get going, but I am hoping to write again tonight. Hope you all have a wonderful summer's day.

The Ten Things We Learned ~

1) ALWAYS pack a bag of snacks whenever you go out because you never know when you might need them.
2) Learn of alternate routes before going somewhere by yourself without a cell phone.
3) Make sure your baby is comfortable with many things to preoccupy him/her just incase you are in the car for four hours or more.
4) Try to carry some cash with you at all times, bills and change to either pay for lunch, dinner, parking or a ferry ride.
5) Never go across the water when there is a severe thunderstorm watch in affect with possible hail.
6) Find out which radio stations broadcast local news and if there isn't any, call the radio stations and demand better updates on special reports!! j/k (I didn't do that)
7) Call Portland news stations and/or the government building and ask why there isn't better coverage of top stories in our city. (I didn't do this either)
8) Have a sun visor handing for days when baby is in the sun when you are at a stand still in traffic for hours with the sun on his/her side.
9) Be kind to other drivers who want to get infront of you to try and keep the peace, unless there is a someone behind you flipping you off and yelling, "What the _____ do you think you are doing?!?!?
10) Finally, be thankful for all that God has blessed you with. That you can find hope and peace in him when unexpected things occur as well as a sense of humor.

Yesterday was a very interesting, eventful day. A good family memory.

My Little Shadow ~

I am so filled with emotions, total exhaustion, sad that I have a list of things to accomplish that never gets finished, irritable with being available to Hannah 24/7 it seems, and pregnant with a belly that keeps growing and growing and growing. BUT, what wipes away all that at the end of the day is the thought of my little shadow.

Even though being a mom is very demanding and you never know what the next day will have in store. Even though I run out of things for playtime with Hannah and get bored with the same ol' toys. Even though I clean a messy baby three times a day for meals and three or four times for diapers. And even though whenever I try to get a project done Hannah is wanting my total, complete attention. I have to say I LOVE knowing that she loves me, that our love for one another is unconditional. I love how she buries her head in my legs, how she nuzzles her nose into my neck wanting to remember my smell, how on very special occasions that only she decides she will give me a kiss and smile a loving smile, thanking me for all I've done as her mom. I know when I stop to think of those precious shadow moments time will eventially have them end. She might not even remember any of them, but I will always hold them close to my heart. She is my special shadow. I love her so much. Hmmm... I should write a song? = )

Allergies ~

Yes, allergies. Brian and I both have them pretty bad this summer. Brian wants to scratch his eyeballs out and I want to get rid of my stuffy nose. LOL. It's pretty funny actually.

Well, Hannah and I are back home now. We had a great time with my parents. I believe that when your heart and body cries "go on vacation!" you need to listen. I didn't realize how exhausted I've been lately. I took good naps there. I also didn't realize how much I missed my friends and family.

The barbacue was great. Saw lots of people. Our old house was decorated very nicely. They did a great job. I took lots of pictures to show Brian and he also agreed with me. I was able to visit with my old neighbor. Got the scoop on what was happening with the neighborhood. I had forgotten how beautiful and quiet it was where we lived. We went to church Sunday and saw so many people, choir members and staff. I put Hannah in the nursery thinking she would need me to stay with her a while to get used to the new enviornment, ah no. She barely new I was even there. That girl, she is so funny to me. Sometimes so independent. I was sad for a second and then remembered 'hey I was free for an hour, yea.' = ) I learned what I appreciated about living there and also what I appreciated about living here.

Up there I was working two jobs and Brian was working two jobs. Here I don't need to work. I really am thankful for that. We used to commute a half hour to hour a day to and from work. Here, it is less than 15 mins. I came back home with a goal to learn as much as I could about this place and go out and live an adventure. We rarely had time to do that before. I am finding out this place has lots to explore.

Hannah has been working on her words lately. She can say now, "papa", "oma", "cracka" for cracker, "nellow" for yellow, and "paboo" for peekaboo. She also has been wanting to put on her shoes BY HERSELF, put on her socks BY HERSELF, put the pacifier in her baby dolls mouth BY HERSELF, etc... If I try to help her without her permission, oh brother, I get a big tantrum. Another thing I've been teaching her is to climb up the stairs with my supervision of course. Well, I had forgotten to update Brian so when he came out of the bathroom the other day he found her up the first flight of stairs playing with the door mat. AHHH!!!! I guess she was able to do it all BY HERSELF, but how scary was that!! One more thing she started a couple of days ago was to bury her head in my legs, always wanting to be close to me. It is very flattering, but being pregnant and having a 23 lbs. baby wanting to be in your arms all the time is a bit hard on me. It seems like some moms can pull it off and have it not even faze them, ah not me. I have come to terms that I am a WIMP!! Oh well, such is life. I sure do love her and think the world of her.

I think I've been feeling the other little one kick every now and then. I am at that stage where you're thinking 'is this baby still alive?' I remember that month with Hannah, I barely felt pregnant. All I can do is just trust that everything is alright. We have our next ultrasound July 8th. Can't wait. We want to find out this time. Good planning. Hopefully the baby will cooperate. I am definitely in my maternity clothes now. Thankfully I think I have found some cute outfits to wear this summer. I don't feel like such a big fat whale anymore with maternity clothes hiding the evidence. lol.

Mini Vacation ~

Hello my dear friends and fam. We are here visiting the grandparents for the weekend. I've caught up on sleep. I haven't needed to cook any dinners. Hannah has been preoccupied with her loving and devoting "papa" and "gran...." Still can't say grandma, we're working on it though. As well as watch some movies, like "Treasure Hunt" with Nicolas Cage. Great family movie. Reminded me of "Goonies" my all time favorite treasure movie. Tonight will be "In Good Company." Looking forward to that. Everything we've done has been pretty low key, but so good for me.

Tonight we are going to a friends barbecue at their house. (We sold our old house to them) It will be great to see old friends and our old house. Brian wants me to take lots of pictures of it. Hope they won't mind. hehe. I wonder if Hannah will recognize any of it? Hmmm.... probably not. We'll see.

Well, hope you all have a great rest of the week. I'll let you know how everything went when we get back.

I Lift My Eyes ~

That is what I've been wanting to do all day long. Lift my eyes to the Lord. Today has been a 'full of all sorts of emotions' day. My mom said that I had to remember that I am more hormonal now in my pregnancy. I sure hope she is right.

I've been dealing with a lot of things lately. When to be a crusader and when to be a listener, when to intervine and when to step out of a situation, when to open myself freely to people and when to let time reveal who I am? Without getting into too much detail, I hope that makes sense.

I've also really been missing my parents lately and am thinking Hannah and I will pay them a visit this week. I am not looking forward to the trip part of it, but I am thinking it would be a good thing for us to do.

On a lighter note, I've been wondering for a while now what does 2T, 4T, etc... actually mean? I bought some things that were 2T and they barely fit Hannah. I thought they were ment to be for 2 year olds??? So confused.

Also, I asked my friend if she worried about bringing up her little one in a certain way so that she would grow up to be a good person? Because I do. And she said something that I never even considered. She said, "no" that since her and her siblings turned out okay she felt that her baby would probably do the same thing with following her mother's example as a guide. I loved that. I am going to try to think that way more.

I better go, but I will leave you with a part of a song Susan Ashton sang that has been playing over and over in my head. And has been a constant comfort to me.

"I lift my eyes to the hills
For where does my help come?
My help it comes from the Lord
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not let my foot be moved.
He who keeps me will not slumber.
Behold who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is my keeper
The Lord is the strength on my right hand.
The sun shall not hurt me
By day nor the moon by night
The Lord is my keeper
The Lord is the shade on my right hand.
The Lord is my keeper
From this time forth and forever more."

Belated Sunday ~

I so wanted to write again. It's been too long in my opinion. We decided to get dial-up, but are afraid now to use it in the evening in case it wakes Hannah up! Oh brother! So this morning I asked Brian if he would watch Hannah while I did my blog. I close the door thinking this would be a great time to formulate my thoughts about the past couple of days however, my wonderful little girl is outside the door crying. Where did my solace go? I'll have to be creative and find it another way.

Okay, she's calmed down a bit. I think maybe I can start to write again. Let's see... Honestly, I don't remember too much from Friday to Saturday, but Sunday was a great day. The message at church was probably one of my favorites that I have heard in a very long time. It talked about Isaiah 30:15, being quiet with the Lord, allowing him to show you who you are. Resting in the Lord and finding your strength.

Being quiet is a very scary thing for me. Either my mind is still racing with thoughts and prayers or I fall asleep! lol! During my time with God I am usually the one talking. Another thing that scares me is that I won't be productive. I'll have so many things on my list to get done that I will feel guilty sitting by myself for a long period of time just being quiet. I really want to try this though. I think what I'm going to do is when Hannah goes to bed, go find a quiet place to sit and listen for hmm... I'll try 10-15 mins. for starts. See what happens. The message really challenged me. I loved that.

Brian and I got a wonderful treat as well. We found a babysitter for Hannah and went out on an official date! We so wanted to see "Star Wars," but it was all sold out when we got there. Bummer!! I told myself that I wasn't going to be disappointed so we decided to go out to eat to a restaurant I had been eyeing for a while. It had great ambiance, the food was okay. I did like the chips and salsa though. We sat and talked for a long time, really enjoying each other's company once again. I don't know about Brian, but I needed so much to remember what it was like when it was just us. We decided that we needed to try to make the time to go out once a month together. Now that we have some great people to take care of Hannah I feel much more comfortable with that.

Well, I still haven't ventured out and tried any of those recipes for Hannah yet. Maybe next week. (can you tell I am a procrastinator?) I have been a bit more busy in the kitchen though. Since my pregnancy I've despised store bought bread. I can taste the sugar and the gluten and it makes me cringe. So now that I am feeling better, I've decided to make my own 100% whole wheat bread from scratch. It was soooooo yummy! Since I already was using my mixer and all of the ingredients I thought hmmm... why not make some homemade rolls too! They were super easy to make and taste just like what my grandma used to make. It was great. Made me reminisce of all the wonderful times I had at my grandparents house. Grandpa made homemade root beer (you can't make anymore), Grandma made kuchen, poppyseed bread, homemade bread, rolls, homemade soups, fresh fruits and veggies from their garden, and homemade ice cream. She was my role model for sure. She knew how to cook, clean, sew, knit, crochet, stitch, paint, play the piano, sing, I could go on and on and on. I really do miss her. She was the one who started me on garage saling too. he he.

Anyway, off on a bit of a tangent. Oh yeah, so I had some time to sit down Saturday and plan out the meals for the week. Went to the store and got everything I needed. (you must know that this is a HUGE learning experience for me, I never know what I am going to cook the next day our meals are pretty sad actually) Sunday I had a pot roast in the slow-cooker and we had a great lunch ready after church. 1 point for mommy! So we'll see how the rest of the week plays out. lol.

I Love this Time ~

Whenever I get a chance to write it is so freeing for me. Ya know, I never liked writing because it was always an essay or a paper or a thesis, all of which were graded and commented on by the 'all powerful,' 'all knowledgeable' teacher. I would be so afraid of my grammer or my punctuation or that I didn't start a new paragraph at the correct time. To much stress! Here, I have so much freedom. It's like the sky's the limit.

Hannah has been learning new things everyday. She decided she wanted to go around in circles. I laughed. What makes her want to just do that? She also shakes her head til' she is dizzy and almost falls down. I am almost to the point where I am getting concerned. I hope it's nothing serious. Another thing she has learned is to walk backwards with her push toy. I never taught her that. I wonder if she learned that from being in the nursery? She is such a joy, heavy, but a joy to be with. She can adapt to almost anywhere I take her. I think she entertains herself with all the new things she sees. Kinda reminds me of myself. I hope she won't aquire my flightiness though. lol.

I started my ban of TV last night. It was amazing. For the two and a half hours I had to myself I reorganized and cleaned up our entire downstairs. I'm telling you I did quite a bit. It was great! I turned on some music and enjoyed the evening.

I also checked out some cookbooks from the library on how to cook for your baby the other day. One was about organic foods (I had to put that one away because it was making me stressed and worried I wasn't feeding Hannah healthy enough foods). The other one was a gourmet cookbook divided into stages of baby's food development. I loved it and got very inspired. I really want to try some of the recipes in there. When I figure out how to take a picture of the book and post it on my blog I will do that. I'll also let you know if any of the recipes turned out and were a success!

One more thing I forgot to mention, I am teaching Hannah how to sign 'please' and 'thank you.' My child needs to have manners ya know. lol. She's so cute, she means well, but get them confused and mixed up. It's fun to watch her. Oh yeah, and she also started hitting when she gets frusterated or playful. Not a good thing in my book. I've been trying to teach her to be gentle. Works 50/50 and also to give hugs instead. She does to me which is so redeemable. hehe.

Brian and I really are needing to have a date night pretty soon. I'm trying to think of fun, creative things to do on our much overdue date. Have any ideas?

Have a great evening. Good Night.

Quiet ~

It's 5:00am in the morning and I'm wide awake. Thankfully everyone is still sleeping. Ah...I can write again. I was thinking, how could I continue posting in my blog without making my child play in the office for an extended period of time. Yes! I can write out my thoughts on paper in any room we're in and when I'm done just type in the data and voila, published in 5 mins. I am going to try this and see if I'm successful at it.

I felt much better yesterday than I did the day before. I really believe I wore myself out. My body said, "STOP!" Yesterday and last night I went to bed at 9:00pm. Hannah's been waking up at 6:30am lately so I've needed to sleep way early. So I've been getting on average so far 9 hours of sleep. My body has tried to tell me I'm pregnant, but I've just been forgetting. Now, I'm beginning to realize I need to slow way down, take it easy.

Hannah and I got together with our play group. started at the park, but got rained out so we ended up at the mall, walking and sharing what our tastes in clothing and shoes were. It was fun for me to observe how different and unique we all were. I like to get together regularly. I enjoy their company so much.

We had some friends over for dinner. It was nice to hang out and get to know them better. They had two children that were so cute. I was thinking about something this morning how I've been around kids a lot lately, of all different ages. It's been very educational. I've forgotten what kids are like. I've been going month to month with Hannah, taking what comes next. Not even comprehending that she is going to be 2 one day, or 4, or 7, etc...

I read a little before bed in my "Captivating" book by John and Staci Eldredge. Basically they're trying to uncover what so many of us women have hidden away which is our captivating heart. What makes us unique, beautiful, living our lives with radiance. I'm in the chapter that talks about being wounded by our past, hating what has happened to us. It's kinda hard to read, but I can relate to some extent. For me there have been people who have said things to hurt me and put me down or have treated me in a certain way that has made me shy away from my own beauty. I have created shields of protection to protect me from getting hurt again. From reading this book I see that by being that way I'm hiding parts of myself ment to shine and be beautiful for all to see. I really want to get back to when I wasn't afraid to be me. I'm on a journey to find out who "me" is again. I'm loving it actually. It's been so freeing. By observing my friends I've seen how different we are in our looks, in our tastes, in our giftings. God has made me specifically for a reason and purpose that is totally unique to me. I'm hoping through my journey I will develop enough courage and determination to unveil my own captivating heart in what God has placed me on this earth to be and do. I'll keep you posted. = ) Until then have a wonderful day and enjoy who you've been so masterfully created to be...Captivating!